Sunday, April 30, 2006

Weirdos and Freaks

It's been a good while since I inflicted a meme on yous guys and this seems like a good day to do so. Cool Colleen tagged me with this one last week. In it, you're supposed to list 6 weird things about yourself. Some may find it hard to come up with 6. Me, like Miss Bates in 'Emma', I find it hard to limit myself to 6. I've always considered myself a bit of a weirdo.

1) I can't go a morning without showering. Well, I can, I mean I won't literally die, I just start to feel that I am absolutely crawling with mites, fleas, and those hairy centipedes, if I am up more than an hour or so without lathering up. I do not backpack. Ever. Well, I did once and we can just say how very much I love Charles to have agreed to it. Even if I'm really, really sick, I somehow manage to stagger to the shower.

2) I have a horrible memory for things like movies and books that I've read. This includes mystery books. I have a library of them and can read them over and over and still get to figure out who done it.

3) I have a ridiculous time asking for help because I don't want to bother or inconvenience someone. It is a sign of how much I trust someone to ask for real assistance, like a ride somewhere. Charles and my parents are pretty much the only ones in the world that I'd ask to help me out in a real pinch. And I hate to do that. Even 'little help' is tough. Ask the nurses. They usually have to lie in wait to go in to assist me with a procedure, like draining an abscess.

4) I really, REALLY hate talking on the phone. I also do small talk extremely poorly. As a result, I find myself saying complete boners. Very often. Please bear this in mind should we meet. It goes without saying that I'm quite the introvert and, shall we say, rather the social phobic?

5) I am completely bug phobic but can't bring myself to kill them. Unless they are of the blood sucking variety, of course. All others must be captured and released OR fearless Charles must deal with them. If necessary and Charles is not available, they are imprisoned under an upturned cup and await his arrival. Sadly, Charles has no problem dispatching the horrid creepy-crawlies as they cling to the walls. As a result there can be found bits of smeary bug guts, often with a spare leg, here and there on the walls. It takes a stiff drink for me to go and, erm, remove the evidence, armed with spray and paper towels.

6) I took Jimmy Carter's energy conservation to heart and seem to spend huge amounts of time turning off lights. Yes, we can afford the extra lights on, but I have a hard time wasting the energy of a light bulb.

7) As I've said over and over, there is a right way to load a dishwasher, dammit!

8) I count. Everything. Steps to walk to the other room. Tiles in the hall. Seconds it takes to empty my bladder. Stairs in my house. The last one is odd as I often count the wrong # of steps. There are 14. Yet it's kind of common to come up with #13 or #15. Either the stairs are fluid in their reality or I am a rather shitty counter.



Blogger Teri said...

Okay, we must not be identical twins: 1, yup, but I can substitiute a swim or soap and a bucket of water dumped over my head. I feel really bad if I don't get my hair clean, though. 3, yup. 4, yup. 6, yup.
The rest, not so much. I'm not bug phobic at all, I remember more that I read than I hear, I'm ambivalent about the dishwasher. The only thing I count on a regualr basis is my kids when we're out in public to make sure I still know where they all are.

11:10 AM  
Anonymous Colleen said...

Thanks for playing! I found it hilarious that you linked to my bug pics when talking about the thought of missing a shower and feeling gross! I actually agree with most of yours so if you're weird for those traits, so am I. I am usually the bug rescuer just because I'm usually the one who is being told about it (and often when Ken isn't home). Although, I'd rather Ken didn't take care of those matters because he does the smush on the wall (even on carpet once--ew!!) thing and that bugs me worse than the bug itself! Also, I don't do the counting thing. I am always rearranging dishes in the dishwasher, though. Of course, you and I probably each have our own "right way" on that. I'm horrible with small talk too, and am plagued with the fact that I remember stupid stuff I've said and worry about repeating them!

11:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eeekkk,it sounds like this was written by your dear old Da. I was "scolded" once for counting the step in the rotunda in the Oregon State Capitol. Just think, you may grow up to be like me someday.

Your Old Da

4:59 PM  
Blogger brooksba said...

This is fun. I don't know why, but I do enjoy the "Meme" art quite a bit. I'll have to try this one.

1 - yes and no. Weekends, no. But I have an obsession with deodorant. If I wear a shirt for more than 10 minutes without applying deodorant, I can't leave the house in that shirt.

2 - that's a good way to save money on books!

3 - when I need help, I ask direct, simple questions that look for short answers. I hate being a bother for people.

4 - I hate the phone too. Amazingly I work in a call center. I think the job is the reason I dislike the phone. If I'm talking to someone on the phone, I'm hoping they'll just meet me somewhere.

5 - ew, ew, ew. I hate bugs. I scream. Loudly. And people think I'm insane.

6 - It's good to save energy.

7 - you are so right. And everything can fit.

8 - I count too. Not as bad lately, but yes, it is something I've been known to do, without letting on to others.

5:08 PM  
Anonymous Ariella said...

Socially awkward, huh? Well, so am I! How will we ever learn to be friends if we're both sitting there thinking, "Oh, God, how can I do this? This is impossible. I CANNOT be in this social situation right now!"

I'm making a huge assumption here, but isn't it odd how in your professional life, you can be friendly and seem extroverted (or at least not introverted), but once it's personal, it's much more difficult to have that ability? In my professional life, I have no problem going up to a judge or another attorney and just talking to them. In "real" life, however, I am SO shy that it's sometimes hard to make friends.

Which is why I make friends on the interweb. ;)

7:25 PM  
Anonymous Leigh-Ann said...

So, uh, how many seconds does it take to empty your bladder? Is there a right or wrong answer to that question? Should a person be worried if the answer is less than one second or more than five minutes? Now I'm going to have to keep a chart...

4:19 AM  
Blogger moegirl said...

I like your list- things about you I didn't know. I can relate to many of your things, especially the shower thing!

I'd like to think your counting is fine, but your steps are fluid in their reality. Allie is the step counter in our family. Her numbers will change also...maybe there is fluidity in all staircases.

11:29 AM  
Blogger Cagey said...

Hmmm, there were too many of those to which I could relate - for example, I hate asking for help and I do re-read books. Frequently.

Oh, and YES there is a correct way to load the dishwasher. That's NOT WEIRD.

WE are the normal ones, dammit!

11:49 AM  
Blogger Cagey said...

Forgot to add - the shower thing? HELL YES.

Again, I would argue that you are not weird. Otherwise, that would make ME weird. And I am not weird. Not much, anyway.

11:50 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Teri- Fraternal Evil Twins, it is. I'll count the tiles on the wall (and the kids) and you do bug duty. Synergy, baby.

Colleen- I still remember the first time I saw one, in the basement laundry of our crappy med-school/residency apartment. I screamed. Like a girl. You re-arrange the dishes in the dishwasher, too?!? Someday, Charles will off me and hide the body and his defense will be my picky dishwasher re-arranging. Poor man. Why, oh why, must those conversations continue to plague us for decades?

Dad- I think I already am.

Beth- Oh, DO do it. I mean, now that you have the new laptop and all. That is funny, your hating the phone, given where you work.

Ariella- You are SO right. Professionally, I am 'that nice, outgoing lady doctor'. At a party, I'm wondering if I can leave, yet, sitting in the corner, smiling vaguely. I love small gatherings, though. Somehow, knowing someone else feels just as awkward, it makes it much easier. Just promise not to hold anything against me said the first time or two you see me, 'K? After that, I'll relax.

Leigh-Ann- Would it worry you that I can answer that based on bladder 'despiration'levels? It should. Also: Less than one minute=world class peeing. More than 5 minutes=check the plumbing.

Stace- And here I thought you knew everything about me, at least the odd stuff. I love that Allie finds the stairs are in flux, too. I feel vindicated.

Cagey- I could hug you, in a non-psycho internet way. I didn't even miss a shower with either kid as a newborn. Missed sleep and meals, hell yes, but I was clean, dammit.

2:07 PM  
Anonymous Ariella said...

Oh, don't worry -- I am currently keeping a tally of infractions! When we meet, you will be provided with a summary and will be given ten minutes to craft and eloquent and well-thought-out response to said list. If said response is unacceptable to me (and my criteria will be unknown beforehand), then you will know by my insultingly simple rejection letter which will be sent off four or five months after the initial meeting.

In said letter, I will say cursory things like, "our initial meeting was satisfactory" and "I enjoyed your company." In the closing paragraph, however, I will wish you well on your future endeavors at friendship and somewhat stealthily imply that you should look elsewhere for friendship because, hey, we're all stocked up here.

Oh wait. Sorry -- that's not me. I DID just describe a rejection letter from a law firm I recently got, though. ;)

2:25 PM  
Blogger Lisa P said...

Oh Honey...
1/ generally shower daily - but I do love to go cmaping and avoid a shower for a good 3-4 days (after that it's just plain "Yuk!").
2/ I dislike reading books twice - even though, I too can't remember the details - it's all too vaguely familiar though to seem a wawste of time.
3/ I don't mikd asking for help - what do you think got me through residnecy... Also, in reality people like to help, it makes them feel needed, loved and trusted. There is a limit though - don't want to be bothersome.
4/ Phone is tolerable - but definetly agree with the small talk. Maybe that's why we get along so well. Huh, in retrospect I REALLY appreciate you coming to a rather large gathering for Ava's baby shower. You must have been cringing inside...
I also fall into the "nice, personable lady doctor" mode at work, not so much in the "real world".
5/ Bugs are ok - don't like them in the house, outside is fine. But unless it's a really big, fast or wierd looking spider I just ignore it.
6/ and 7/ Yes - I knew this about you. That's why they invented SSRI's. Have you had yours today?

It's hard to come up with "wierd" things about yourself. I'm sitting here thinking and really, I don't like to be that introspective. So I'll quit thinking. Have a lovely day!

2:43 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Ariella- Is now the time to start pelting you with raspberries? Or is that also inappropriate? It's so hard to tell... (Bastard rejection letters.)

Lisa- (Hi Honey!) You know, I was able to stop my SSRI upon relocation to points East. Amazing how cutting the stress out of your life helps sleep and mood. The rest, I chalk up to personality quirks. Funny, I always liked the shindigs you threw. Your family is cool and I like your non-medical friends. There were always some people I knew there, as well. Plus, you always had the best food and drinks. (I don't think you and I have ever had a 'small talk' conversation in our lives. I dearly miss sitting in the back of meetings and conferences with you and snarking.) I am now thinking that it's very weird that I can't come up with a single solitary weird thing about you.

3:52 PM  
Blogger Rozanne said...

I guess I'm going to be the first one to say I don't 100% relate to everything you've listed. Here's the breakdown:

1. 85% relate
2. 75% relate
3. 100% relate
4. 25% relate. I do enjoy talking to friend and family who live faraway, but for local friends e-mail is the way to go. As far as small talk, I can do it, but it used to be really hard for me. I'm a reformed shy person.
5. 50% relate. Small bugs I have no problem with. Once they get to, say, the size of a june bug. UGH!
6. 85% relate
7. 100% relate
8. 0% relate. This sounds kind of OCDish to me.

Totally unrelated--check out that wheelchair thing under the word verification. This is the first time I've seen it. I guess it's for people who have vision impairment (weird that they're using a wheelchair symbol--weird that they're using any visual symbol cuz if a person w. impaired vision can't see the letters they're not going to see the wheelchair). Blogger has flipped out!

6:50 PM  
Anonymous Kate W. said...

ok, you are so not weird! The shower thing? Mostly... Memory? I can barely find my way home at the end of the day...Asking for help? I should be on medication-nope!(just kidding)
The phone... I plead the 5th... just ask Colleen. I can pretty much talk to a wall if need be.
Bugs? Kill them all.
Dishwasher? yup...
Don't even get me started about counting. Actually, I notice numbers more than I count so I take that back, you are a freak! :)

8:58 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Rozanne- That wheelchair thingie is weird. Guess it fits the theme of the post. I can't get it to work, so maybe I'm impaired? (Oh, and about that OCD #8? Yeah. Internists have a very high rate of OCD traits.)

Kate- If I hear something or do something, I have a pretty good memory. Reading? Not very good at all. Guess that's why I didn't get to skip classes all through school. Unlike certain husband-y people.

8:16 AM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

I am so going to have to do this. It will be much fun.

I loved your list.

Reading quickly on my lunch. Much love!

1:24 PM  
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