Monday, June 18, 2007

Time for the Serenity Prayer

Her: "Is it me or is the air conditioning louder than what I remembered from last year?"

Him: "Sounds louder."

A few hours later....

rattlerattlerattleRATTLE...rattlebang, rattleboom, RATTLEBOOM, RATTLEBOOM, BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMCRASH! (silence, silence, cricket-chirping silence)

Her: "I think it's dead."

Him: "I'll call in the morning."

Of course, you know that the mercury is over 90 F. And the humidity is close to that.


So off to bed we go, hours later, all ceiling and box fans whirling away. Dog in front of the screen by the decklet off our bedroom. Cat nowhere near her usual place on the body pillow next to me. I think she found a way to open the door to the freezer and curl up around the ice cream. Either that or she's fled to the basement.

You remember small Sara, right? Sara "mommy-I-need-to-sleep-with-you-yes?". Sara "but-when-your-light-is-off-I-can-sneak-into-bed-with-you-yes?".

Last night, after each variation of the above queries was answered with a flat "NO" or a "No, honey, daddy really, really, needs his sleep and when you are there, he gets literally kicked out to the couch and then he is all stiff and sore and his back bends at all the wrong angles."

Of course, a short while after I fell into sticky, fitful slumber, I wake to find a small furnace curled on top of the pillows, between our heads. I evict the small furnace back to her own bed and fall back into what passes for sleep, listening to small sniffles from the other room. Of course, the next morning, I am hit by new guilt. See, the poor dog has been evicted from her place on the carpet by the screen by the small girl in pink kitty pyjamas.

Who is now sleeping in the middle of our bed.

What can you do?


And then there's the neighbor's dog, well, one of the neighbor's dogs. She's a very sweet yellow lab, about a year old, very jumpy, very knock-you-over, very poor manners, who looooooves to come over and play. Normally, I don't mind. She and Molly have a grand old time racing around the yard for hours at a time, stopping to do doggy things, like sniff critter poop and stick their noses into the various burrows, but now that it's hot, the kids are out there with their slidey-pool. Molly knows that only BADDOGS go into the pool and only BADDOGS steal the inflatable sliding board and only BADDOGS try to bite the side of the pool. Sadly, Bailey is a baddog. And baddogisms are contagious.

So, Charles gets to go over to the neighbor and see about getting him to keep his damned baddog in his own yard. Molly will be sad, but she won't succumb to the dark side and hopefully the pool will last more than a week, having avoided being punctured by baddog teeth and nails.

And how was your weekend?

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Blogger Voyager said...

I would rather fight the heat than shiver by the fire. Which is how we spent the weekend. Cold. Very cold. And wet.
I'm coming to your house to play in the sun and slide on the slidey pool thing.

12:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I got to go to yoga and stretch my -itisy hip, march in a parade in Sheridan, OR, until the poor old hip shrieked in mortal pain, and then got to mow the lawn to celabrate Father's Day by playing with machinery. Oh, yeah I got to chat with your sister--no, this is not a guilt trip on you. After all, you sent me pix of Colin and the alphabet written my Sara "all by herself". Life is too cool.

The Ole RF-er

2:59 PM  
Blogger Stepping Over the Junk said...

I hate air conditioning. A perk living next to the ocean is that it is cooler here. Maybe two nights out of the year we are a little hot, but that's it.

Kids are not allowed to sleep with me. If they arent feeling well, I lie down with them and then get them to sleep in their own bed when they are calmer and better.

4:09 PM  
Anonymous Christie said...

You have my deepest sympathies on the loss of your A/C. I would probably die on the spot at the mere thought of it going out....and if I didn't die right then and there I'd whine until someone murdered me.

Hope things are cooling off for ya!

P.S. Your blog keeps eating my posts. Bad blog, bad!

9:57 PM  
Anonymous Kate W. said...

What happened with the A/C??!! I think I would go out of my mind without it-now that I have been allowed to turn it on that is...ahem...
There is nothing like having a small sweaty child stuck to you like glue in the middle of the night. How is it that they can sleep so well like that?
Hoping for a cold front!

11:22 PM  
Blogger Dumdad said...

We don't have A/C and we mostly don't need it although a few years ago France was hit with a fearful "canicule" (heat wave). We suffered scorching heat that summer and nights were too hot too sleep.
Slidey-pool sounds fun!

3:38 AM  
Blogger Lauren said...

No wonder you were feeling a bit cranky. I know I would be.

8:18 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

V- I'm with you. While I'm not a fan of the hot and sicky, when I'm cold, I feel like I can't move.

Dad- Glad you liked your gifts. Sounds like a rather nice Father's Day at that.

Stepping- If the small-handed ones are ill or wake with nightmares and cry, I head in to them, but sometimes they stealthily find their way to us and it's just easier to roll over and let them climb in. Well, at least for me. Charles has another take on it.

Christie- Thankfully, a big cold front rolled in last night leaving everything lovely today. (BADBLOG! BADBLOG!)

Kate- The way it sounded, something was loose and then finally spiralled off, causing the whole damn thing to die. I'm very afraid of what the repair person is going to find and what the bill will be. The final crashings were loud enough to rattle the cupboards. It can't be good.

Dumdad- We never had A/C on the West coast, but out here, it's very miserable without it for most of the summer. I remember that horrible heatwave and all the people who died because of it. Unbelievable.

Lauren- Sadly, the crankiness was before the death of the A/C. No such excuse.

8:55 AM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

I think I would die w/out our central air at home. Sometimes, yes, it is a bit breezy and cold but, when just walking outside into the humidity, makes you lose your breath, I'd rather have the breeze. Thank God Keem feels the same way.

I am sure Molly will find her GoodDogginess again. And I am laughing at the thought of Bailey taking off with the sliding board. Not sure why that amuses me so. BadDana.

10:08 AM  
Blogger Sanjay said...

Molly will be fine, I am sure she has very good canine Karma. We haven't had to use our A/C at night yet, but today may be different.
Weekends in piffleland to me seem infinitely more interesting than the ones at my end. :)

12:08 PM  
Blogger Rozanne said...

I hope the A/C gets fixed soon! Fans simply don't cut it in the Midwest. Oh, the humidity!

In the meantime, try to spend as much time with your feet in the slidey pool as possible. I hope Baddog stays banished.

7:54 PM  
Anonymous amy said...

I am having just the opposite problem with my air. it's too darn cold!

hope you've had a break from the heat!

9:05 AM  
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Air-con can be a curse and so often it's too cold. You need an outdoor screened-in porch to sleep in! We do use fans in the windows of our porch summer bedroom too. We have no little furnaces IN our bed but usually just one calico cat claiming her rightful place (or so she thinks!) in amongst our legs at the bottom of the bed...until morning when she wants to be let out..then she switches to the top and starts kneeding the pillows partially touching our heads..then she bites our hair..then she ressorts to pawing our eyes to get them open!

9:29 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Dana- Brrrr. Should I visit your place in the summer, I'll bring a sweater.

Sanjay- She really is a good dog, is our Molly, she's just sometimes drawn to the Dark Side.

Rozanne- Bah. Still no luck with getting a repair person out.

Amy- I find myself wishing that I could just swap 10 degrees of summer heat for 10 degrees of winter chill. Everyone, including the plants would be so much happier and our bills would be so much lower.

Ruth- Sadly, the outside is so muggy during the sweltering days that it really doesn't cool down at all. Thankfully, our basement is about 20 degrees cooler. If we have to do more of these nights, we'll probably camp down there on the couches and air mattress. Those kitties. There's no ignoring them.

10:47 AM  
Blogger Babs said...

Weekend?? Oh it was marvy!!

Waterheater broke Friday night (ie: died). Still hasn't been sorted yet, and, today, might I add, is Wednesday night. Am washing dishes like Laura frickin' Ingalls (read: heat pot full of water, wash some dishes, rinse, repeat ad nauseam). Do not get me started on the joys of attempting to cook poultry which makes me look like a civil war surgeon, what with bowls of fresh scalding hot water constantly being brought to me to wash my hands of raw chicken-y mess (it worked, obviously, as no one has died or puked). Am also frostbitten and in danger of losing limbs from cold showers (no tub to put hot water in).

There may be a post about this, oh yes.

May be borrowing prayer thingie.

Just call me Half Pint.

(Well, ok more like three gallons and a very full quart)

11:08 PM  
Blogger Lauren said...

Really hoping your air conditioning is working again. It is like the house machines know when is the worst time for them to go kaput.

7:35 AM  
Blogger brooksba said...

How icky! It's no fun when the AC decides to take a holiday during the busiest work season. I say you revoke the time off.

Okay, that didn't make much sense. Hope you get a working air conditioner soon. And that Molly receives her spot back on the floor.

3:08 PM  
Blogger Jocelyn said...

Hot. No air conditioning. Kids who don't sleep.

We're psychic sisters, friend.

2:40 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Half Pint- Gads, no!! I guess the only consolation is that EFL must be affected, too, and will be hollering on the phone to the poor waterheater repair guys.

Of course there has to be a post about it. That's the only solace to be gotten out of the situation. Blog fodder.

Lauren- I'm thrilled to report that the repair guy is coming out in 4 short days (short as it's not nearly as hot as it was) and, parts and gods willing, we'll be good on Monday!

Beth- Your joke made perfect sense. Sadly, I fear no holiday but an agonizing death. Here's hoping that the thing can be resusitated.

Jocelyn- Gads! What the hell sort of vacation IS this? No A/C? Sister, you have my sincerest sympathy. At least I'm not in the car with the little darlings. I can lock myself in the bathroom and lie on the cool tile if they get too much.

7:15 AM  
Blogger listie said...

Old house + no air conditioning = something else to get used to. My sympathies to you. The good news is, it's too hot for me to accompany the family and mother-in-law on a trip downtown to shop. I get at least an hour to myself, even if it is a sweaty hour.

Hope your ac is up and running soon.

2:54 PM  

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