Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I'm Not Dead, Despite Rumors To The Contrary

Actually, I'm nearly all well. As are the kids. It's marvelous.

Sadly, we've had a bit more of the ill-health wind, this time involving my poor mother-in-law, who lives with us 1/2 the week and makes sure our kids have vegetables with their meals when I'm not there.

(Actually, as I'm not there, the presence of vegetables may be sheer fallacy, as she tends to be the indulgent sort with the grandchildren, but I prefer to hold firm to my vision of plates laden with vegetables and nary a candy bar or Cheeto in sight. And lots of time spent reading and working on various mentally stimulating and emotionally satisfying activities while listening to the collected works of Mozart or Billie Holiday.)

While not sharing confidences that are not mine to share, I can say that she's now home with us from several days in the hospital and doing better. Charles and I have split time off work to be with the kids and thankfully my mom and step-dad's visit starts tomorrow, so we will have some breathing room. We are hoping that my mother-in-law recuperates nicely and will be able to continue to marshall the small-handed ones, as it is so much nicer than day-care and she really enjoys it, but we will do what we have to. Time will tell.

It's been a stressful several days on top of the plague-ridden several weeks, so I've had little time for you-all, my dearest darlings. (Plus work has been a whirl-wind of meetings scheduled during my pre-work blogging time, not to mention all the patients, bless their phlegmy little souls, who are coming in droves.)

So that's what's been happening. I've also spent time shaking my fist at the filthy house and the hoard of flies, both house and fruit, who have invaded my house despite my best efforts with vacuum and plastic baggie traps. (Last count: 47 houseflies have met their maker in the bowels of the trusty vacuum and well over 200 fruit flies have either been dispatched via vacuum or trap.) For once, I'm not going to be sad to see the first nights of hard frost.

Please don't count this as a real post, just a whiny explanation as to why I'm seeming to ignore you, yet again. I suck, but we all knew that.

I'll be back soon, hopefully with something amusing to writing about and I'll continue to slowly make the rounds while cramming a hasty meal in my mouth. Love you all.



Blogger listie said...

diana, so sorry to hear about your MIL. I hope she's recovering well and will be fine.

Don't worry about us or the housework, we're here to stay.

And, you do.not.suck.


9:21 AM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

Ooh, sounds like you have your hands full. I certainly hope your mother-in-law recuperates nicely and that you get a chance to sit down and relax. Much love to the Piffle family!

10:29 AM  
Blogger The Rotten Correspondent said...

You poor thing. You are really having a rough go here. So sorry about your MIL, but glad she's home and hopefully on the mend.

I'm invaded by flies at the moment too, both house and fruit. I know the baggie trick with the fruit flies, but how do you nab the little f***ers with a vacuum?

Take a deep breath and remember that we're all in your corner. I hope that's consoling, although it might just scare the hell out of you.

10:57 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Listie- I. Do. Too. Suck. You're just trying (successfully) to make me feel better. Mmmmmwa!

Dana- Thanks, sweetie. I think all will calm down pretty soon, barring any further smack-downs from that evil fate guy.

Julie- Ah. This is where skill and stealth combine with desperation: You need a vacuum with a wand. You remove any attachments so it's just a sucking tube. Sloooooly you creep up on the 'little fuckers', shifting your weight sloooooly forward, sliding the tube toward them until, foop!, they are sucked into the appliance. Then you do a little victory dance while praising your vacuum and eying the next victim. Takes practice but once you get the hang of it, it satisfies the latent hunter as well as the not-so-latent bug hater.

1:05 PM  
Blogger Dumdad said...


Hey, your blog rocks, never sucks.

I'm just beginning to see the daylight of wellness after being struck down with a horrid cold/chest infection since last Thursday. It started as a niggling cough and then got worse and worse.

I'm, at this moment, having my first beer since Saturday night. I still have a rattling cough but it's much better than it was.

And I haven't cycled for a week and that's agony for me.

Still, ever onward!

1:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best of good wishes to Grandma L, the great MIL. The Air Force is on the way after he sees your sister. Keep the faith and a place open for the ...

Ole RF-er

3:18 PM  
Anonymous Kate W. said...

Hey! I've been feeling guilty that I have been MIA too! So glad your germs are all gone. Now I can visit! :) I might be willing to trade you flies for ants-I have to think about that one.

10:02 PM  
Blogger Voyager said...

Missed you! Sorry about MIL, but I'm glad to hear all are on the ment.
I really want to know about your baggie fruit fly traps. I am at war with the little fuckers. On my Mom's advice I have made traps of plastic margerine containers with ripe fruit inside, covered with plastic wrap with pin holes poked in it. But I only catch a handful that way. Any advice? Besides eliminating everything but ceesies in our diet?

1:05 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Dumdad- Hang in there. Sucks being ill, doesn't it? I always hope that getting sick ahead of the crowd will somehow protect me for the rest of the ick season, but it never does. Here's hoping that's it for your illnesses for the year. I always grouse about running but not being able to do so makes me insane.

Dad- We should be plague free for your visit, you lucky dog.

Kate- No such luck. I'll take the flies. At least when you've dispatched the last of them there's no colony waiting for your back to turn.

Voyager- Ooooh! Fruit fly baggie traps! Get a fold-over the top sandwich baggie (or any small plastic bag. Put appropriate smelly fruit fly bait inside (for me rotting tomatoes with a drizzle of red wine or a mushy mango worked best, ripe banana also good). Stand the baggie by the area they like to frequent (like our counter fruit bowl). Let the top of the baggie sit open but kind of fall in so it's easy to fly in and the smell gets out to lure them but it's easy to close the opening in a milisecond so they can't fly out when the trap is full of the bastards. Let sit over night. In the morning, get your reflexes ready with a cuppa and in one fell swoop, close the top, rolling it over so few if any escape and trundle it outside to the trash or compost or wherever. Repeat until flies gone. I just dispatched trap #3 and I think all but 1 or 2 are gone. Monday morning there had been a huge swarm. I tried the bowl with the plastic and had almost no success. The opening has to be big and enticing to get them away from the other goodies and instantly closeable so they don't escape.

8:58 AM  
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Okay, this really sounds like Act 3 but whatever!
You have a lot going on and hopefully your MIL will be 100% soon and watch the kids. Also, you can elax a bit and enjoy your dad's and step-mom's visit. Maybe they will spell you off sometimes too.
You sure have a lot going on! I have nothing much at all compared to you....unless you count keeping tabs on all my weird health things and returning to the drugstore to stock up! (On Cipro drops and pills for ear....and about to start Actonel or Evista for bone loss in lumbar spine. I'm to research both and choose one so if you have an opinion, please let me know when you have a lot more time!)

Do you have to make sure you empty the vacuum cleaner bag each time because they can still reproduce like mad in there? I'd heard that for fleas so figured the same applied.

Good luck with all!

9:56 AM  
Blogger Lioness said...

You could never suck, don't be silly. NEVAH EVAH.

Kudos for surviving it all, I hope life is back to normality soon.

10:52 AM  
Blogger Voyager said...

I'm going to try the baggie trap right now.
B gets so mad at the little buggers he chases them with the hand vacuum all over the kitchen, cursing and muttering. Thanks for your tip, it may save his sanity.

11:10 AM  
Blogger Rozanne said...

Of course, none of us thinks you suck.

I hope everyone is on the mend now. So stressful to have to cope with all that.

It sounds like I need to lend you Rusty. He is an expert fly killer. He kills them on the first try and "disposes" of them too.

12:48 PM  
Blogger Stepping Over the Junk said...

I'd take your flies over the mystery bugs here...which I think I have gotten rid of...I still think it is lice, despite the doc's assurance

3:30 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Urgh, I sympathize over the flies. In the spring, we had the invasion of the sand gnats. Now, we have love bugs "luvin'" all over everything.

Glad to hear your MIL is getting better. Sounds like it has been rough week. We're happy to have you back, if only for one moment!

7:18 PM  
Blogger Coffee-Drinking Woman said...

You do not suck!

Best wishes to your MIL - hope she recovers quickly!

9:44 AM  
Blogger The Rotten Correspondent said...

you have an award over at my place...

12:39 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Ruth- Well, drops and pills are better than anesthesia and drills, yes? Maybe? I really don't have a huge preference for one over the other. They both have small concerns: Actonel has the heartburn (GERD) stuff if you don't take it first thing in the morning with a big glass of water and stay upright for a half an hour. Evista is called an estrogen receptor modulator but acts as a weak estrogen, which is slightly concerning. Hot flashes can worsen for some, too. Has a small increased risk of blood clots. Guess if It were me, I'd try the Actonel and if not tolerating, then go with the Evista, but, again I've no strong preference. Just don't want those bones a-breaking. Oh, and we've a bagless vacuum, so it gets emptied 1-2 times a week.

Johnny- Some day things may return to 'normal' and that will be a lovely day, indeed.

Voyager- I love the vision of a crazed B.

Rozanne- Hey, maybe Rusty can give Mad-Kitty a few pointers. She so badly wants to catch them but she chooses to go after the ones that are several feet over her head on the wall, so she tries to climb the wall, chittering, but fails to actually catch one.

Stepping- No thanks. A bug on the wall is worth two in the hair.

Jen- I had to google love bugs. Urgh!, indeed. I'd spend most time indoors if those things were swarming all over everything.

Teri- We're slowly crawling along. Sloooooooooooowly.

Julie- What a nice thing to do to perk me up! Thanks awfully!!

8:48 AM  
Blogger Jocelyn said...

You are intelligent enough to equate Billie Holliday with Mozart, yet you dare to say you suck?


Hey, psychic sister: the fruit fly thing? We got it, too, despite the presence of two homemade fruit fly traps. It's the nectarines.

It's always the nectarines.

1:01 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Jocelyn- The nectarines or their close cousins, the nefarious plums...

5:30 PM  
Blogger brooksba said...

You do not suck. It's okay, and I hope the stress level decreases soon. You deserve a nice break.

3:12 PM  

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