Friday, August 17, 2007

In Lieu Of Our Regularly Scheduled Blog...

I almost never do this but THIS had me laughing so hard that I was unable to do more than make those sobbing little "eep" noises, which caused poor Colin much concern from the adjacent room:

Colin: "Mom! What's wrong?"

Me: "Nothing honey. I'm just reading something funny."

C: "But you sound like you're crying!"

M: "I am just a little but it's because this is so funny."

C: (After coming in to look at the computer monitor.) "Are you going to cook that????"

M: (Wiping the tears streaming from my eyes): "NO. God no. Don't worry. Not even I would make that."

C: "Good."

And now my question: Did these items really end up on the tables of Americans in the middle of the 20th century? And was that the reason for the heavy consumption of martinis? And what about the poor children?

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Blogger Lauren said...

I only have two words for this -

10:19 AM  
Blogger Cagey said...

I haven't seen these! I need to go digging around since it appears there are updates.

Do you have his books? If not, you must own every single one of them! The parenting one, the 70s decorating and the original gallery. ALL OF THEM. I gave the Original Gallery to my dad for Christmas and he also sat there crying as he read it.

I am SO excited about his new one coming out this fall.

10:20 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Lauren- Aren't they scary???

Cagey- I'd never heard of him but I'm now a fan. I stumbled across the site in a link from a blog that had a recipe I was reading. I love the net.

12:18 PM  
Blogger riseoutofme said...

This explains a lot.

If we are what we eat ... what does that make THEM?

I don't think I want to follow this line of thought ....

Although, a martini would be nice ....

1:03 PM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

This was unbelievably funny. It reminds me of the 70's Weight Watcher recipe cards that someone (Poundy??) did, I can't remember the link but I laughed for hours.

Isn't the net wonderful? Where else can you find stuff like this, thug deer and the scientific exploration of Peeps.

1:04 PM  
Blogger Voyager said...

I think I'll make a jello salad with canned fruit bits in it for a party I'm going to tomorrow. I'll blame you for the idea!

7:06 PM  
Blogger The Rotten Correspondent said...

I hate to admit this but I actually have a few cookbooks of this type. At first I read them because they made me laugh at the thought that anyone would really eat that crap.

Now I find them pretty useful as they make whatever I put on the table look really good in comparison. I may blow the pictures up to placemat size to give my family something to think about.

11:40 AM  
Anonymous Colleen said...

I really shouldn't have taken a peek at those. I'm nauseous enough as it is! I can proudly say that the meals I serve my family look way more appetizing than those. I'm sure the girls would love to try the milk and 7-Up....WTF? Whose brain child was that? I saw this woman the other day at McDs putting something from a straw into her very tiny baby's mouth (we're talking two months old tops). I couldn't believe my eyes. I saw this other mom checking it out as well. Unbelievable!

3:47 PM  
Blogger Udge said...

Dear LORD that was frightening. Forget Hannibal the Cannibal, this is the real horrorshow.

5:25 PM  
Blogger The Rotten Correspondent said...

When you stop perusing this book for ideas for dinner tonight stop by my place.

You have an award...

12:09 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Rise- I'm wondering if this sort of diet is the secret to living forever. See, you'd already be embalmed...

Dana- Oh, the Peeps! The Peeps are brilliant!

Voyager- Sadly, the hallowed Jell-o salad still has an honored place at the Midwestern buffet table. You'll likely find 1/4 of the table devoted to various 'salads' of jell, with floating bits and artificial non-dairy topping.

Rotten- I have them, too! Including 2 fondue books of the '70s. My 1964 copy of The Joy of Cooking I actually still use as it's a wealth of information on such basic things as how to make hard boiled eggs (I didn't know how in my early 20s) and what to do with a terrapin (turtle) that you caught in your yard and want to fix for dinner (I can't imagine ever being faced with such a dilemma but feel that a book that includes such an eventuality must cover any other thing I might need.) I love your placemat idea. (And thanks for thinking of me, sweetie!)

Colleen- I should have included a disclaimer at the top to view at your own gastrointestinal risk. I'm also horrified at the thought of the poor kid in McD's but it probably wasn't worse than what many moms fed their kids throughout the last centuary. Wonder how many infants were given "Tang"?

Udge- Hm. Maybe that's how you could get Hannibal. Feed some poor soul up on this for a few months and then use him as bait?

8:32 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

I came over here on the recommendation of Rotten Correspondent, and I'm glad I did. I've been a huge fan of Lileks for a while. It's nice to see other people find this amusing!

4:39 PM  
Anonymous Teri said...

Mu-wa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. I've seen this before, the site that is, but it never fails to make me laugh so hard I cry.

Also, when I have my housewarming party, I'm totally making stuff out of those cookbooks - just for you!

8:37 PM  
Blogger Rozanne said...

The Butter-Cup sounds particularly vile.

I love how the recipe acts like it's totally normal to make a "cocktail" out of canned vegetable broth. Gross!!!!!!!!!!

10:21 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Jen- Hello, Howdy! I've never had the gut-busting pleasure of a Lileks encounter before but I love stuff like this.

Teri- I dare you to make the entire menu 'regrettable'. And then take a picture: a picture of all the taillights as your guests flee.

Rozanne- That's one big 'WTF???', isn't it? I was particularly fond of the chipped beef jello 'salad'.

11:06 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

Diana, thanks for stopping by over at my place! If you like Lileks, you should check out

Very bizarre novelty stuff, like Bacon Flavoured Toothpicks, and boxing nun puppets. Good way to get a laugh.

11:36 AM  
Blogger Jocelyn said...

What a total time capsule of food. My husband's grandparents are still alive, so we occasionally get to enjoy (aka "suffer throug") some post WWII meal preparation like this...we had some ham patties the other year at their place, and Grandma proudly explained how she's bought a ham but then HAD THE BUTCHER GRIND IT UP into mince for this dish. 'Cause, you know, there's something wrong with intact ham.

11:56 AM  
Blogger Dumdad said...

I think we still eat this stuff over here!

2:32 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Jen- Brilliant! I think the brain jell-o mold is a must for any gelatin consuming household.

Jocelyn- Oh my. Well. Or as they might say in Minnesotan, "Oh for goodness sake!" There is a famous recipe that circulated around the clinic last year for (shudder) 'fake hamloaf' That used (I think it was) bologna in place of ham. I had thankfully missed that potluck.

Dumdad- YOU DO NOT. NO. YOU LIVE IN PARIS, for God's sake. Even the 'other side' of that food paradise wouldn't serve such dreck. NO-NO-NO. (Unless you are referring to your homeland. Then I'd buy it. Any nation that puts urine secreting organs in a pastry and calls it 'pie' would put corned beef in gelatin and cream-of-mushroom soup in everything else.) But at least you'd wash it down with a mighty tasty pint. Unlike the broth 'cocktail' with a pat of butter floating in it.

5:50 PM  
Blogger Lioness said...

Gosh, I found those ages ago, wish I'd had an inkling they'd have you sobbing in the best of ways, I'd have sent you the link.

Still, you people eat chips with mayo. And peanut butter and jam. And drink root beer. Not to mention that you have dinner btwn 17.00 and 18.00.
So, my question is, what exactly were you laughing at? *clears throat*

6:30 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Johnny- Yeah. Some friend you are. Had to find it all by meself.

(And, as you MUST rememeber, we Yanks eat our chips (FRIES) with ketchup, not mayo (except for some distinctly odd ones of us), while you bizarre Porties eat your spaghetti with ketchup and not a nice sauce. So, dahling, I think I might be laughing at you. Kiss, kiss.)

9:24 AM  
Blogger Stepping Over the Junk said...

it all looks like it was made of SPAM!

4:47 PM  
Blogger brooksba said...

Ew. But I swear my grandmother made something similiar to the meat jell-o loaf once. Or put carrots in Jell-o. If it jiggles, it should not be crunchy. That's the rule. At least in my world.

4:35 AM  

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