Saturday, November 13, 2004

We have met the enemy and he is us

Most Saturdays we have a tradition of getting up, hopping in the vehicle and heading in to that mecca of Wisconsin, Madison. We go to the same bakery, order the same thing and then go run our errands, visiting the same stores. Grocery shopping is universally on the list. (Yeah, we drive 30 min to go grocery shopping. You'd do the same if that were the only place to get such haute cuisine items like shallots and turkey breast other than the pressed sort.) We usually frequent this one Sentry because, well, good food, and it is near the bookstore. There is a down side, though, and that is that it is frequented by huge numbers of the most atrocious band of shoppers imaginable. And by that I mean the worst breed of all, the Oblivious Aisle Blockers. You know the ones. Usually there are 1 or 2 in each store you go to, but they can be avoided by simply going to the part of the store furthest from them and proceding from there. This tact does not work, however, if every bleeding shopper is an OAB. What is it about that Sentry grocery that lead to so many complete dunderheads shopping there, especially at 9 am on a Saturday. I mean, why are they not in bed like the rest of the civilized world? Today, the answer became clear. Over and over again, of it's own volition, our cart kept blocking the aisle. There seemed nothing we could do to stop it.

That's when it came clear. It is not the shoppers but the store. Some malevolent, twisted entity turns these otherwise considerate people into rude monsters when there.

There remains just one question: Is the OAB transformation temporary or are we destined to be shopping assholes forever? I am nearly out of pressed turkey and iceberg lettuce. Guess I'll find out at the local Cub Foods Wednesday. Consider yourselves warned.



Blogger CarpeDM said...

I lived in Madison for about 9 months over 10 years ago. I loved it. It was like Saint Paul and Minneapolis rolled into one quaint yet happening (I know people don't say happening anymore but hey, it's fun) city.

I've been reading your archives (as she says "Duh, Dana, I've figured that out") and am asking permission to blog roll you.

1:35 PM  
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8:14 PM  

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