Sunday, July 03, 2005

Paranoia

After this morning, I am beginning to think that maybe it IS personal:

Charles comes in reeking of DEET, dressed in a LONG SLEEVED T-shirt, from his morning run on the local trail.

Charles: "I just don't get it. I was running along, when I passed 2 women running the other way. They were in shorts and jog bras. They obviously were not covered in DEET. Nothing but exposed skin, galore. That huge cloud of black flies that were chasing me not only didn't veer off and swarm all over them, they didn't even consider it."

And there you have it, proof positive. Everything loves a Canadian.

Either that or he is some sort of Messiah for the blood sucking insects of the world and they just need to be near him, to adore him and taste of his goodness. Sort of a kink in the sub plot of a Douglas Adams classic. Or, just maybe, they were trying to hitch a ride with him to get back to me! That's it! Me, me, me.

So I will leave you with the following bastardization of a horrible Sonny and Cher song that has haunted me for the last hour, just to share the pain, because I, too, am like the stinging gnat:

And the DEET goes on,
And the DEET goes on.
La de da de de, (la de da de de).
La de da de da, (la de da de da).

Labels: ,

7 Comments:

Blogger Teri said...

Maybe those women run really fast and were actually outrunning the flies?

I've never known those dang things to leave anyone alone.

12:21 AM  
Blogger Jamie said...

Some people just smell better to them. Luck of the draw, I guess.

Either that, or the women bathed in Avon Skin-So-Soft before running. I wonder if that was it?

1:43 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Teri- I dunno, Charles runs pretty darn fast. Maybe they know some secret we don't, like consuming a diet rich in brats and cheese curds causes some kind of cloaking reaction? You aren't holding this info out on me, are you? Are we drinking the wrong beer?

Jamie- He does smell good, well, except when he is reeking of DEET and streaming sweat. You know, there was an honest-to-God study looking into the Skin-So-Soft bug repellent properties and they found that it was actually no better than placebo. I remember being disappointed after reading it, but also a bit relieved that I didn't have to hunt down an Avon lady to get some, although it can probably be purchased online.

2:27 PM  
Blogger brooksba said...

I think bugs are just a conspiracy against the entire human race. I have heard that the Avon product works well, although the people using it at a party I went to yesterday got eaten alive, just like everyone else.

9:00 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Beth- Hi, how are you? Yes, definitely evil, the little blood suckers are. Sad that the Avon stuff doesn't seem to work as well as its reputation.

8:24 AM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

I don't blame him for being paranoid. I am as well. They will swarm to me and completely ignore my sister. We have the same blood, dammit! Pick on her! Hmm, maybe her's has too much iron for them. Could that be it?

Yay! Beth has found her way here. I'm excited!

1:55 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Dana- Put him next to me and guess who gets all the bites. Go ahead. Guess. Yeah. Wonder why he wants me to go running along the trail with him all the time.

10:47 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home