Thursday, May 11, 2006

The Daily Shows

Our scene: Driving home in the sexy, little, black (cheap, gas efficient, two-door, fold the seat back, hit by a thug deer) car. Listening to the radio. Zipping along through the gently rolling hills and past the dairy farms of Southern Wisconsin, trees a-bloom, grass a-green, fields all a-ready to be a-planted with corn and soybeans. Bucolic-o-rama.

Him: "Marketplace is my favorite NPR show."

Her: "Yeah. It's really good. Fresh Air is still my very favorite, though."

Him: "10 years ago, I'd have begged someone to shoot me had I said that."

Her: "10 years ago, I'd have shot you and then myself for saying it."

Continuing on our drive, listening with rapt attention to stories on the impact of China's devaluing of the yuan, we pass a string of local brilliance.

See, a good month ago, road construction began along the main highway/main drag/location of the one and only traffic light in the village. There is now no road, only a swath of gravel, with really interesting road equipment along the shoulder. This created rather a dilemma in our bit of a town, as the village proper is, believe it or not, highly dependent on tourist traffic. It is a destination of tour busses filled with rampaging seniors during the weekdays and rampaging couples on weekends. Now with it's main artery and vein cut, with egress limited to the small, letter-named, county roads, how to bring the masses to our kitchy mecca?

'Burma Shave' signs, of course:

"It's not winter
Nothing's frozen
Go put on your

"Feeling crabby?
Feeling blue?
Drown your sorrows
In Swiss fondue.

"Polka, polka
Chicken Dance, too
In our town,
That's what we do!

"Don't you fret!
Don't you frown!
Soon you'll be
In our Swiss town!

And so on and so forth.

Every few weeks or so, another bunch crop up, some accompanied fore and aft by brightly painted wooden stand-up cows.

People in the town in which we work are still flummoxed that we drive more than 5 minutes to our jobs, but with such entertainment as Marketplace and Burma Shave signs, how could we give that up?


And one more thing. I just came back in after planting a few things in between rain showers. It seemed horribly cold and not just because of the 40 mph winds.

Yup. Forecast is now for snow possibly this afternoon, this evening, and tomorrow. 'Mixed with rain' as they say, but fuckin' snow all the same.

It's mid May.

This is just wrong, even for Wisconsin.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

ew...snow? not fair!
we've been getting lots of rain here to. it's enough to drive me bonkers.

I totally hate road construction. in the summertime it is really bad here. and travelling to my grandmother's in Illinois is always a pain because they're always doing something to I74.

hope you don't get snow!

2:34 PM  
Anonymous Gerah said...

My gosh we're so similar it scares me. I've had the same NPR conversation. I used to make fun of my parents for listening to it, now I've got it on all hours of the day.

And I just did a post with "The Scene" . And the weather has gone to hell here too. You're not alone. I JUST put my ferns on the porch, and now I'm gonna have to carry them back in.

2:55 PM  
Anonymous Ariella said...

Gah! I hope my flight isn't delayed. I'm sure they wouldn't hold it against me, but still...

I love those signs. And so perfect for the name of the town in which you live. Erik says it's like a little Swiss village (I have yet to see it, but he's always saying, "Oh, Jefferson is close to the town where your INTERNET FRIEND lives." I get a real kick out of that.)

3:56 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

I was gonna bitch about the weather, and what a crappy week I'm having on my blog, but the crap about the phone records and the NSA just trumped all that...

the weather though, totally sucks.

And I'm gonna have to come visit you just to see those burma shave signs!

5:15 PM  
Anonymous Kate W. said...

So sorry! A very good friend of mine lives in Tomahawk, WI. She called this afternoon to vent about the cold and snow. I can't believe it! Snow in May should be illegal! Although it snowed on my 19th birthday...lots of beer... I don't remember being cold at all! Hmm...

9:36 PM  
Blogger moegirl said...

I'm a huge fresh air fan myself. Snow in May--freaky. But, Mt. Hood has had snow recently. People were skiing at Easter.

Is it El Nino? La Nina? El Greenhouse gasiocito?

Who knows.

10:55 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

I thought it was weird that you were calculating your last frost date so early!

I'm in Zone 5 and our usual last frost date is around May 24th (the 24 weekend, or Queen Victoria's birthday - Canadian excuse for a national holiday).

Of course it varies according to weather conditions any given year, but most of use that date as a rule of thumb.

You're Zone 4, yes? So that would be the same time frame or later then...

But hey, I feel your pain... I wasn't gardening at the time, but I still clearly remember the year it snowed on my birthday... in late June.


10:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm reminded of one of our family's best stories: Your Aunt Sue, who grew up in Minnesota, was on the phone at Christmas time to her sister and describing the recent, but rare, snow that had fallen in Molalla, Oregon as being "like the snow we got in May."

11:06 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Amy- Yes. And, indeed, it did snow with the rain, yesterday, when I posted this.

Gerah- Isn't it tragic to realize your parents had good taste in radio?

Ariella- Very good luck today (now Friday) with the interviews. I'm sure you'll knock 'em off their feet! ('INTERNET FRIEND'--Sounds sorta pervy. Cool.)

Teri- In my little Thursday/Friday cocoon, I hadn't heard about it until you wrote this. Sad to say, it surprises me not in the least and I only wonder what the worst of it is, as I am certain that this is just the tiny tip of that whole dirty iceberg.

Kate- That would be the only way to spend such a birthday.

Stace- What ever it is, somebody is pissed of somewhere and is taking it out on us.

Karen- Well, THAT'S just odd. Yup, zone 4, but our average last day of frost (May 8) is earlier than yours. Even with the bit of snow in the air, I don't think things dropped below 35 last night. Certainly no frost, just cold drizzle, so I think even the tomatoes are fine, just peeved.

Mum- I'd not heard that one. Sue has the best take on things Midwest vs Northwest.

11:23 AM  
Blogger The Lioness said...

And THIS is why you must visit! It's sunny! And warm! Even I am wearing a t-shirt! And the window is open! And we only use one duvet now! Royal plural of course bcs Im sleeps out of it, that's hot hot HE feels! See! Exclamation marks!!!!

Sun, warmth, cheese, wine and the whole Lisbon is a bloody hiking trek bcs it had to be built on 7 hills to make my life easier didn't it, plus the Summer fires are bound to start any day now so it will be even hotter so yes! Portugal! NOW!

[And this: "El Greenhouse gasiocito?" was just priceless. !!!]

11:46 AM  
Blogger brooksba said...

The signs are cute and completely fun.

Snow? It's been colder here too and it rains pretty much every day. The Midwest does not need any more snow until December!

Dana and I have next week off and we're hoping to see if you'd like to meet for lunch somewhere on the 21st (Sunday).

3:10 PM  
Blogger listmaker said...

Yup. Those are our two seasons: winter and road construction (she said after dodging the huge machine that is eating the road to work).

5:35 PM  
Blogger Rozanne said...

B loves Marketplace and Fresh Air--he must be a Diana-Charles hybrid.

My parents once made a trip to the Swiss Village in WI that (I'm guessing) is the same one that's touting itself with those signs. I can't remember why I didn't go--I really wanted to!

Snow in May would make me cry. How depressing! I hope it doesn't happen.

6:37 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Johnny- *whimper, whimper* Warm. Costal. Scenic. Laden with divine foods and drinks. And you live there....
But what's this? Burning again this summer? Is this some sort of sick Southwestern States envy? The fires last year were bad. You wrote about them. This should not happen. (Stacy does rock, doesn't she?)

Beth- I agree. Unconscionable, this weather. We should be in shorts with an eye toward needing the A/C in a few weeks, yes?
The 21st? Looks good! Say where and when! I'll be there bearing grins.

Listie- So sadly true. And sometimes it's both winter and construction season. Like now, apparently.

Rozanne- This B, he is a man of taste. Sadly, there was, indeed snow in with the rain. Big ol' fat flakes. Sounds like it's the same place, or at least close enough. Good kitchy fun. Every damn business is Swiss themed: Swiss Lanes bowling alley, Swiss Miss Shopping center (with the combination formal shop and auto accessory place, kid you not).

2:49 PM  
Blogger Cagey said...

I feel like such a green thumbed LOSER that I haven't planted ANYTHING yet. Then I convince myself that surely, surely, it will frost just ONE MORE TIME. ha

6:26 PM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

Oh yay! I am so looking forward to meeting you IRL.

And I say yuck to the snow. Yuck. It is bad and shouldn't be allowed at all. No snow. Even though I know it happened.

It's been raining here. I don't like it. Plus I am sick still and the rain annoys me because it isn't the fun, warm rain where you hope a cute stranger will kiss you in but the cold, wet rain that is just minutes away from turning into snow.

10:54 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Cagey- Sadly, you are not a loser but a freakin' weather oracle. More cold, indeed. Bah.

Dana- It does sucketh, mightily. Glad you are on the mend and then, perhaps we can arrange for some warm James rain? Can't wait to see you in a week!

9:28 AM  
Blogger The Lioness said...

WHAT??? In a week you'll meet?? How? Where?? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?? When did this happen? I want to be tehre as well, ohhh, details STAT! *faints*

12:43 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Johnny- How? By trundling in our respective cars. Where? In that great city, Madison, Wisconsin. We've been kicking it around for a while as it seemed silly, us only living a state away...and now with Beth and DM on this great road trip, all they need to do is just dip down a bit southly on their way home. When did we decide? This weekend. Care to hop a plane, dahling?

3:52 PM  
Blogger The Lioness said...

Oh my God, WHAT road trip?? Where have I been? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

7:19 PM  

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