Ode to a Vacuum Cleaner
You never really seemed to work
Leaving fuzz and hair and dirt.
Heavy, tippy, hard to carry
Cursed you often. Annoyed? Very!
Spewing smoke,
Now you're broke.
Buy another Hoover? What a joke.
Yup, it finally died. Huzzah! It was actually the 3rd Hoover we'd owned in 15 years or so. The 1st, worked like a champ. The 2nd was so-so. I forget how it died. The 3rd was downright annoying. It didn't even have a way to carry it up and downstairs, like a handle, just this tiny finger grab sort of shelf-thing, something that an experienced rock climber would pass by as impossible to grip. It finally gave up the ghost by attempting to suck up a piece of string left over from the Great Putting Away of Christmas. One end of the string went one way and one end the other way around a plastic guard on the way to the brush roller and, presto!, it garrotted itself, spewing very stinky smoke out the foot-end. ON THE VERY FIRST ROOM TO BE VACUUMED! Bastardo. And this was not an ordinary weekly vacuuming, it was the first vacuuming after the Great Putting Away of Christmas. Pine needles and sequins and glitter everywhere, not to mention extra large drifts of dog hair. A dire situation.
Today, we went shopping for a new vacuum. One that would not disappoint. One that would actually, well, vacuum. First step, we pulled out our trusty Consumer Reports guide. It ranks the damn Hoover high but also the Eureka. We slog off to check it out, fortified with bakery breakfast.
"Can I be of any help?" says the trustworthy sales guy.
"What is the difference between these 2 Eurekas?" I ask, pointing to 2 with the same name as the one recommended by Consumer Reports, priced about $50 differently.
"Well, honestly, they are the same except the more expensive one has a couple of 'gimicky' things that really aren't doing anything to clean your carpet better."
"Good to know. I appreciate your honesty. Which would you get?"
"Well, I know that Consumer Reports ranked this one (points to one of the Eurekas) as a best buy, and it is fine, but if it were up to me, I would get the Dyson over there."
"?"
"It may be more than you're ready to pay, but has by far the best suction, is bagless, and easy to use. And the suction does not decrease over time as the dirt doesn't get pulled through the motor."
Makes sense. We stroll down to the Dysons. Another guy is also looking at them, and we become a 3 way conversation. We poke and lift, push all the levers and, indeed, it seems most easy to use. To make it short, we left with it.
I let it sit in the box for a whole 4 hours, until after lunch and a decent nap interval, thinking I would let the vacuum wake the kids. Turn it on and, damn, the thing is quiet. Kids don't wake. I also notice that the drifts of dog hair, instead of fleeing the vacuum, come toward it as though happy to join their dust-bunny friends in the bowels of the machine. Huh. Never had that happen. Always end up chasing the damn things around the floor until they are cornered and have no where else to go but under the brush. Sort of takes the sport out of housework.
So, if that isn't piffle, I don't know what is.
In other news, it snowed a foot last week among much rejoicing of students. Both Colin's and Charles's districts were closed for 2 solid days. (What? I thought this was the Midwest, where we took pride in no school closures. Ever.) Charles, of course, had to go in as administrators don't have snow days. He can't win. And, as Charles was just about home, our amazing neighbor, Steve, stopped by with his 4WD with snow plow attached and plowed our whole drive. Just gotta love Midwesterners. And it gives me an excuse to bake tomorrow. Hey, he deserves a big batch of Triple Chip cookies, and not all will fit on the plate.
So, once again, all works out.
Good thing Charles won the football pool.
Leaving fuzz and hair and dirt.
Heavy, tippy, hard to carry
Cursed you often. Annoyed? Very!
Spewing smoke,
Now you're broke.
Buy another Hoover? What a joke.
Yup, it finally died. Huzzah! It was actually the 3rd Hoover we'd owned in 15 years or so. The 1st, worked like a champ. The 2nd was so-so. I forget how it died. The 3rd was downright annoying. It didn't even have a way to carry it up and downstairs, like a handle, just this tiny finger grab sort of shelf-thing, something that an experienced rock climber would pass by as impossible to grip. It finally gave up the ghost by attempting to suck up a piece of string left over from the Great Putting Away of Christmas. One end of the string went one way and one end the other way around a plastic guard on the way to the brush roller and, presto!, it garrotted itself, spewing very stinky smoke out the foot-end. ON THE VERY FIRST ROOM TO BE VACUUMED! Bastardo. And this was not an ordinary weekly vacuuming, it was the first vacuuming after the Great Putting Away of Christmas. Pine needles and sequins and glitter everywhere, not to mention extra large drifts of dog hair. A dire situation.
Today, we went shopping for a new vacuum. One that would not disappoint. One that would actually, well, vacuum. First step, we pulled out our trusty Consumer Reports guide. It ranks the damn Hoover high but also the Eureka. We slog off to check it out, fortified with bakery breakfast.
"Can I be of any help?" says the trustworthy sales guy.
"What is the difference between these 2 Eurekas?" I ask, pointing to 2 with the same name as the one recommended by Consumer Reports, priced about $50 differently.
"Well, honestly, they are the same except the more expensive one has a couple of 'gimicky' things that really aren't doing anything to clean your carpet better."
"Good to know. I appreciate your honesty. Which would you get?"
"Well, I know that Consumer Reports ranked this one (points to one of the Eurekas) as a best buy, and it is fine, but if it were up to me, I would get the Dyson over there."
"?"
"It may be more than you're ready to pay, but has by far the best suction, is bagless, and easy to use. And the suction does not decrease over time as the dirt doesn't get pulled through the motor."
Makes sense. We stroll down to the Dysons. Another guy is also looking at them, and we become a 3 way conversation. We poke and lift, push all the levers and, indeed, it seems most easy to use. To make it short, we left with it.
I let it sit in the box for a whole 4 hours, until after lunch and a decent nap interval, thinking I would let the vacuum wake the kids. Turn it on and, damn, the thing is quiet. Kids don't wake. I also notice that the drifts of dog hair, instead of fleeing the vacuum, come toward it as though happy to join their dust-bunny friends in the bowels of the machine. Huh. Never had that happen. Always end up chasing the damn things around the floor until they are cornered and have no where else to go but under the brush. Sort of takes the sport out of housework.
So, if that isn't piffle, I don't know what is.
In other news, it snowed a foot last week among much rejoicing of students. Both Colin's and Charles's districts were closed for 2 solid days. (What? I thought this was the Midwest, where we took pride in no school closures. Ever.) Charles, of course, had to go in as administrators don't have snow days. He can't win. And, as Charles was just about home, our amazing neighbor, Steve, stopped by with his 4WD with snow plow attached and plowed our whole drive. Just gotta love Midwesterners. And it gives me an excuse to bake tomorrow. Hey, he deserves a big batch of Triple Chip cookies, and not all will fit on the plate.
So, once again, all works out.
Good thing Charles won the football pool.
Labels: Drivel
posted by Diana at 6:22 PM
3 Comments:
I have a Roomba! I love it above all other appliances (excepted for the coffee maker)
GF
Just picturing the response the Roomba would get from the dog and the girl. Heh. Heh.
The girls are terrified of the regular vacuum, but they aren't bothered by the Roomba. When we first brought it home they were amusement by it. They liked to stock it. Now they only keep tabs (one eye open while napping) on it when it’s in the same area they're in.
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