Thug Deer and a Mug Shot

Every neighborhood has its hooligans. Ours have antlers.

Last year, our first in Wisconsin, was the initial encounter. There were two adolescent bucks by the stable that now houses the gas cans for the mower, a bunch of concrete blocks, an old ratty table inexplicably left behind in the basement by the previous owners, and the barn swallows. The pair seemed to be up to no good as they swung their small nubs of antlers, huffing and stamping at Charles, who was standing on the deck some 50' away. They packed up their cans of spray paint and slowly sauntered off into the woods, making rude gestures as they went.

Since then, we saw the two of them sporadically, but this last week they have obviously become bored with terrorizing the other smaller woodland creatures. First, they trotted all around our yard in the middle of the day, getting right up to the house, drinking from the rain puddles and eying the garden. After a while, they left, for some reason scuttling under the fence (a 18" high opening) rather than leaping it (a 4' height). There is no barbed wire. Clearly, they are into limbo dancing at their raucous and degenerate parties. Equally clearly, it was meant as some sort of taunt.

This morning (5:58 am, if you must know) they were standing in the middle of the road, blocking our egress (the road is about 10' wide), and NOT about to back down, even when we pulled up to within a few feet of them. After a while, as we bravely sat in the minivan with the windows rolled up, quietly yelling and waving our arms, they figured that we were not going to give them the sport they wanted and leaped off the road, heading for our yard. I didn't quite catch the remark they made about our mothers. I fear for our tomatoes.

I think they are casing the place with a plan to break in and steal DVDs and electronic gear. They will also likely steal the beer from the fridge and call 900 numbers.

In other breaking news, of interest probably only to Teri, I have figured out what the Evil Bastard Aster Destroying Insect Invaders are! I found it in my new favorite gardening book, something I should have bought years ago. They are Chrysanthemum lace bugs. (Here is a picture of a sycamore lace bug, which is not as dark a gray, but otherwise looks the same. I couldn't find a picture of the real thing.) I find it funny and fitting that the natural pesticide treatment, neem oil soap, is made from pyrethrins, derived from... chrysanthemums! (Asters and chrysanthemums are in the same family). I also found that these particular lace bugs like to suck the life blood out of my beloved pincushion flowers. Death to lace bugs!

So, there you have it. Yet another installment in the chronicles of our gripping life in the bucolic country. Thugs, assassins, chemical warfare.

Pass the neem sprayer. Maybe it works on deer.