Flabbergasted

I think of myself as a fairly level-headed person, but sometimes situations present themselves in such a way as to defy the rational and mundane.

For example:

Just this past Saturday, a mere few days ago. Charles finds a bag of bounty in the space between his side of the bed and his dresser. Sounds great, right? Especially as this bounty is in the form of chocolate. Not to-die-for chocolate, just regular Hershey's milk chocolate, but, hey, chocolate all the same. We confirmed chocolate freaks do not look such gift chocolate horses in the mouth. We are too busy putting the chocolate in our own horsey mouths.

But this bounty from the heavens was enough to give us pause and stop and ask ourselves, "What the hell?"

See, It was a 1/2 bag of little solid milk chocolate Easter eggs. The sort the Easter Bunny sticks in those plastic colored eggs and hides all over the house, hopefully where the kids and NOT the evil dog can get to them.



So. Consider the following:

1. We are as far from Easter in the year as you can be.
2. If confronted with extra candy (yeah, right), The Bunny always puts it in the candy bowl in the cupboard. A cupboard conveniently too high for anyone under 5'5" tall.
3. This past year, there was no extra, forcing the parents to pilfer from their offspring the candy that had always been their due for letting The Bunny enter their house and rummage through their stuff, ostensibly hiding eggs, but really checking out what DVDs we had that he could hit us up to borrow later.
4. This past year, and maybe the year before that, The Bunny was unable to procure these little, solid mild chocolate eggs wrapped in pastel foil, and had to make do with the less satisfying Hershey's Kisses wrapped in pastel foil, to go with the little peanut butter cups in pastel foil. And bigger peanut butter eggs. And jelly beans, the good kind. And solid chocolate rabbits. And some chocolate-covered marshmallow eggs. But not Peeps. We don't do Peeps in this Bunny's household. (Aside: I wish I'd been a part of that second Peeps link. The whole damn site is a scream. I wish I'd been a part of it. But then, I'm a geek.)
5. How the hell did they get on the floor in our bedroom, this bag of Easter candy? The loft above the living room is where The Bunny assembles the eggs for hiding and the baskets o' loot. The kitchen is where such things are stored.
6. Charles denies any knowledge. In addition to being Canadian, and therefore impeccably trusty, honest and true (It's the Mountie heritage. Go watch Due South.), he found the bounty and, if it were his, he'd just have picked it up and put it somewhere the dog and kids couldn't get to it without pointing it out to me.
7. I have no idea, otherwise I'd not be blilthering on about this, I'd just say, "Oh, yeah. Wondered where I put that. Thanks. Care for an out-of-season chocolate?"
8. If the dog unearthed it, why didn't she open it and eat it, pooping out bits of foil in the manner of our first German Shepherd, she who unbelievably sneakily ate a large candy dish of Christmas stocking chocolates and then spent the rest of Christmas Day farting unbelievably horribly and pooping out piles of red and green foil-decorated shit. (YES. We know dogs can die from eating chocolate. We'd put it out of what we thought was her reach. We didn't realize she'd done it until we saw what came out of her and figured that the damage was done. She came through it fine and it now makes a good story, especially when you realize she ate the whole bowl full of candy without moving the bowl or leaving a speck, so Charles and I just assumed that the other had put the candy away, in an attempt to curb our gluttonous Christmas consumption.)
9. If the cat unearthed it, how did she get it there? She's tiny; not much bigger than the bag.
10. If the kids unearthed it, why would they leave it there, unopened and not eaten? My kids inherited both my and Charles's intense chocolate loving genes.

So. As you see, we are flummoxed.

Elves?

Portals to other dimensions?

Are we being 'Punk'd'?

(And one other thing: Of course I sampled a chocolate. Silly question, being who I am. It was not covered with that white powdery stuff that chocolate gets when old.)

I'll now entertain theories from you-all, my intelligent and imaginative friends.

Aliens?

Elvis?