Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Haikus for an Obscene Forecast

Per the NOAA site, confirmed by NPR's weather reports according to the Wisconsin and Northern Illinois stations (bold text my emphasis) :

Today...Windy. Rain in the morning...Then chance of rain or light snow in the afternoon. No snow accumulation. Highs in the upper 40s. Southwest winds 5 to 15 mph increasing to west 15 to 30 mph. Chance of precipitation 100 percent.

Tonight...Colder...Breezy. Mostly cloudy with a 30 percent chance of snow showers. Lows in the upper 20s. West winds 15 to 25 mph.

Thursday...Mostly cloudy with a 30 percent chance of rain showers and snow showers. Highs upper 30s. West winds 15 to 20 mph with gusts to around 30 mph.

Thursday Night...Mostly cloudy with a 30 percent chance of snow showers. Lows in the upper 20s. West winds 15 to 20 mph with gusts to around 30 mph.

Friday...Mostly cloudy with a 30 percent chance of rain showers and snow showers. Highs in the mid 40s. West winds 15 to 20 mph.

********** (snowflakes)

Ok. Some things just deserve as a punishment a round of haiku bitch-slapping. Yes. This is Wisconsin, where we brag about our 'frozen tundra' and our silly ice fishing and all that, but we shouldn't look for snow until American Thanksgiving, something that is still a month and a half away.

* * * * * * *
* * * * * (snow flurries)
** * *
* * * *

"It's not like you'll have
to shovel", says obnoxious
radio D.J.

But we've still leaves on
the trees and the grass is green;
It's still soccer time.

Halloween is weeks
from now. Then there's still most of
November to go.

See, there should be rules.
Snow is fine from Thanksgiving
until Easter time.

"Ayup. This is like
The winter of '24,"
Say the old farmers.

Anything else is
just rude, in my point of view
Time to assign blame.

Find the Snow Miser.
Hold his feet to the fire,
stop his evil plan.

And while we're on it,
Why isn't global warming
Stepping in to help?

See, I've been stocking
Up on surf boards, sunscreen and
Zone 8 flower seeds.

So, all you folks who
Live somewhere nice and warm can
All point and laugh, now.

***********
***********
*********** (Snow storm)
***********
***********
***********
***********

Labels:

19 Comments:

Blogger Lauren said...

Oh. I feel your pain. We have a chance of snow slush tomorrow or Friday. Today's high is supposed to be 70 but tomorrow's high is supposed to be 49. What!!!!
Anyway, love the haiku and stay warm.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

Please... keep it there for me?

One good weekend to put the garden to sleep for the winter, that's all I need.

Karen

10:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have heart, O 1st Born. This week in Portland it has been sunny and warm with Mt Hood void of any white. The snow fields that have year-round skiing are all brown form blowing dust. Cool is on the way--thanks to you midwest folks.

Just get it warmed up for Thanksgiving and our scheduled visit to spoil grandchilluns.

The Ole RF-er

1:10 PM  
Blogger amy said...

ah, snow. gotta love it!
we're supposed to have some too this week, along with rain.

great! guess I should kiss my roses goodbye!

2:28 PM  
Blogger Cagey said...

You had me at "Haiku"! ;-)

2:47 PM  
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Canadian Haiku!

We might have snow too
North of you in Canada
It comes all too soon!

After our wonderful warm and sunny Thanksgiving, it has now turned ugly! Even my felines doth protest!

9:09 PM  
Anonymous christie said...

Pointing and laughing, pointing and laughing, pointing and laughing....and folks down this'a way are spazzing out because our high temp tomorrow is 54 (for October in central AR, a rarity).

Fingers crossed it's temporary and not the beginning of a trend 'til May!

10:34 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

But it's an el nino winter, so the winter outlook is for warmer-than-average temps (or so says the tv weatherman).

We're getting damn cold rain here - it might be icy in the morning.

11:30 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Lauren- This year it's seemed to come so fast. Haven't even found a winter coat for Sara. Thank goodness Colin is set with cold weather wear.

Karen- I'll do my best, but this weather is slippery stuff!

Dad- Just for you, I'll order a double helping of Thanksgiving snow!

Amy- I figured Iowa would want to get in on the act. I'm sure the farmers are thrilled to be harvesting in all this. I'll need to get my sad roses all tucked in this weekend, too. Pulled the last of the peppers and green tomatoes off the vines. Hoping they will keep me in garden tomatoes via a paper bag for a few more weeks.

Cagey- Awwwwwwww! Shucks.

Ruth- Good haiku!
Sorry for the snow.
It's not my fault, the weather
is a spoil-sport.

Christie- Really? 54? That IS cold for y'all. Bundle up good and I'll look around for a spare pair of mittens! (LOVED the video you sent! I made sure Mad-Kitty was out of the room when I watched it. She doesn't need to go getting ideas.)

Teri- Oh! Now that would be nice! Warmer usually means more snow and less aching cold! All for the better for playing outside and getting small children and rude dogs nice and tired. Hope you don't have to contend with ice.

7:37 AM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

I say blech.

To the snow, not the haikus, of course. I am not pleased at all. Yesterday, while taking pictures of the fire, I thought I was going to lose all circulation in my hands and feet.

Of course, maybe if I stopped wearing sandals and found my coat, I might not be as cold but I am protesting the oncoming cold weather.

12:55 PM  
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Today's Cdn installment!

The wind gusts like mad
The leaves and kids are blowing
At least we have sun!

Hope the kids come back
(They are out for recess now!)
Better do roll call!


(Ha! You can tell I went over to the school this morning to volunteer!)

2:03 PM  
Blogger brooksba said...

Last night, I walked out of work to find the ground covered in a dusting and there was snow on my car. This is insane! I've seen snow on Halloween, but it is not supposed to arrive any time before that. No! Bad, bad, bad. The weather is going crazy in the Midwest. It was in the 90s last week and this week we have snow. What?!

2:10 PM  
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

By the minute update!

The flurries are wild
Can not see across the street
Oh, where are my mitts?!!

4:10 PM  
Blogger listmaker said...

I'm with Karen; keep it there. I haven't even raked my leaves. Heck, the leaves are still on the trees. And, yes, our forecast is calling for snow showers this weekend.

6:27 PM  
Blogger Babs said...

My sweatjacket lurks
Deep in laundry room, not mine,
Sylvias. Mail!! I plead

She has not, so far
Though it is now cold here, too
Mail in Spring, I bet.

Fucking cow, I say
I may send her my slipper
It has holes and stinks

A just punishment
Those who forget and run?? No
For cow who hears not

Di, I beg, keep snow
Lest you feel wrath and receive
Other stink-slipper

5:18 AM  
Blogger Babs said...

My sweatjacket lurks
Deep in laundry room, not mine,
Sylvias. Mail!! I plead

She has not, so far
Though it is now cold here, too
Mail in Spring, I bet.

Fucking cow, I say
I may send her my slipper
It has holes and stinks

A just punishment
Those who forget and run?? No
For cow who hears not

Di, I beg, keep snow
Lest you feel wrath and receive
Other stink-slipper

5:18 AM  
Anonymous Colleen said...

Oh I can relate,
Yesterday in Michigan
Snow flurries and hail!

I agree with you,
Global warming where are you?
Not in the midwest!

Brrrrrrr!!!!!!!!

12:20 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Dana- Yes. That might be the first order of business: Shoes and a coat. Maybe some socks, too? And, if you're feeling really wild and crazy, who knows? Hat? Gloves? You could get them in lovely wild patterns, with frogs and such on them.

Ruth- In my son's take-home folder for the week, among the questions we're supposed to ask him, like: What was your favorite thing about the homecoming parade and how are the potatoes we planted different from the grass, was the query, "Am I warm enough at recess? Do I need to dress more warmly? I'm guessing several kids weren't properly attired.

Beth- We had a dusting here, too. I hear upstate got slammed. Something like a foot and a half. So did Buffalo, NY, apparently. Now THAT would suck. A balmy 50s this weekend for us!

Ruth- Hah! I spent time this morning finding our mits and throwing out the singlets. Order of business tomorrow? Snow boots for both and more gloves for Colin.

Babs-

Syl is pure evil.
Don't hesitate to call in
a hit man or two.

And where the hell is
Manson in all of this shite?
Some brother he is.

Colleen-

I was wondering
How you and Kate were faring
A bit to the east.

8:51 PM  
Blogger Rozanne said...

I'm late to the haiku party and I come empty handed. I'm so impressed at everyone's poetic talent.

Even though I'm a former English major, I don't think I could write a haiku to save my life.

So sorry about the snow. October snow is simply NOT ON.

3:08 PM  

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