Literary
Him (flipping through a small book): "So Colin's reading assignment is titled My Worm Farm. She (indicating the person narrating the book, smiling in the pictures, running her hands through compost, meticulously detailing the care of compost worms--not to be confused with earth mover worms!) has a worm farm as a hobby and gets to write a book about it?"
Her: "Yeah. Poor kids. Maybe you should write one entitled My Home Theater."
Him: "Or we could write one entitled My Home Theater and My Garden With Compost Bin."
Her: "And I could follow it up with the sequel: Squash Bugs are Evil."
Him: "Or a picture book: Squashing the Squash Bugs."
Her: "Or Squash Bugs are Evil and Cucumber Beetles are Fuckers."
Him: "And at the end of the book, you could go through how to conjugate the verb 'fuck'.
Her: "Or maybe not."
Him: "It'd still be better than My Worm Farm."
Granted.
Her: "Yeah. Poor kids. Maybe you should write one entitled My Home Theater."
Him: "Or we could write one entitled My Home Theater and My Garden With Compost Bin."
Her: "And I could follow it up with the sequel: Squash Bugs are Evil."
Him: "Or a picture book: Squashing the Squash Bugs."
Her: "Or Squash Bugs are Evil and Cucumber Beetles are Fuckers."
Him: "And at the end of the book, you could go through how to conjugate the verb 'fuck'.
Her: "Or maybe not."
Him: "It'd still be better than My Worm Farm."
Granted.
Labels: Marvelous Charles
posted by Diana at 8:09 AM
12 Comments:
Can I come live with you? I would say I just want to be a fly on the wall but I know what happens to bugs in you house and your garden! Too funny!
Periodically I contemplate a literary life, only to remember that Stephen King first had the idea that I just dreamed up. And I swear that J.K. Rowling has a direct connect to my brain.
My current literature deals with writing a newsletter to my HS graduating class. I get to connect with one and all who have email and get to be non-political while reporting the news in and around Portland/Milwaukie, OR.
Your RF'ing Dad
You guys are hilarious! I imagine that you and Charles have many funny conversations like that. Thanks for the chuckle!
Well, you could write about the weird way out there worms and call it, "The Funny Farm"!
Maybe worms have the caste system kinda like a pecking order (don't know what that'd be called for worms?) Like compost worms may be higher class that worms destined to be bait, or a robin's breakfast!
Kate- Yes. Were you a fly you'd either be sucked up by the vacuum or tormented and left for dead by the kitty. You can certainly come live, but be warned, I am a confirmed left-over consumer.
Dad- Those who can't write, blog?
Colleen- I think he's funny and vice versa, so I guess we work for each other. Secret to a good marriage.
Ruth- See, there's a book for YOU to write! Although, apparently, the author also sells her compost worms for bait. I'm dismayed that I know that factoid.
I would read your children's book and ask for you to sign it. Squash bugs are evil.
I'm not sure what I want to say here. Other than the fact that I adore you. Ever so much. And Charles. And the small children (pets and humans) and anything you two write would be 500 times better than My Worm Farm.
Beth- I'll save you a signed copy.
Dana- I adore you, too. Muchly.
Lisa- (Hi Honey!) Heh. I'm having a hard time with the whole 'very cute' part, but I guess you'd have to be there. I'm assuming this was a lecture in a course on integrative medicine? I've heard ECT works for such cases. Bzzzzzt!
Somehow, I find it very easy to picture you and Charles having this conversation.
I think Squashing the Squash Bugs would be a best-seller. Seriously, kids love gross-out stuff (as you well know).
My worm farm? (excuse me, I need to go laugh hysterically now.) Why Yes! I can see why anyone would pick that book as an example of a good children's book!
I think you should blog Squash Bugs are Evil and Cucumber Beetles are Fuckers during the next na.no.mo write or whatever that thing is called where everone blogs a novel.
Stace- And you've taken part in many, many ones just like it.
Rozanne- You know, I'm sure you're right. Maybe I should get out the camera before this year's squash bugs all freeze.
Teri- Hah! The dark and twisted part of me likes that idea greatly. Maybe.
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