Conversations With Colin II
Our scene: Tonight. Colin, recently bathed and therefore no longer smelly, lolling on the couch.
Colin: "Mom! Wait! This may be the worst Christmas ever!!!"
Me: "Really? Why?"
Colin: "Because Molly will chew up all the ornaments!!!"
Me: "Oh. Don't worry. We're putting the tree up in the dining room and we'll put a gate across the doorway so that Molly can't get in and get the tree. Mad-Kitty will probably try to climb it, but we can at least keep the dog away."
(note--the dog now rarely chews up anything that isn't hers, but old reputations die hard.)
Colin: "But what about Santa!?!?! How will Santa get in?!?!?)
Me: "That's easy. He can just climb over the gate, like dad and me. We'll keep Molly in our room Christmas Eve so she doesn't bark at Santa."
Colin: "Or pee on Santa, like she pees on everybody."
Too true. Lucky Santa. That should be good for an extra present or two.
Too bad for my step-mom that she wasn't Santa. Over. And over. And over.
Colin: "Mom! Wait! This may be the worst Christmas ever!!!"
Me: "Really? Why?"
Colin: "Because Molly will chew up all the ornaments!!!"
Me: "Oh. Don't worry. We're putting the tree up in the dining room and we'll put a gate across the doorway so that Molly can't get in and get the tree. Mad-Kitty will probably try to climb it, but we can at least keep the dog away."
(note--the dog now rarely chews up anything that isn't hers, but old reputations die hard.)
Colin: "But what about Santa!?!?! How will Santa get in?!?!?)
Me: "That's easy. He can just climb over the gate, like dad and me. We'll keep Molly in our room Christmas Eve so she doesn't bark at Santa."
Colin: "Or pee on Santa, like she pees on everybody."
Too true. Lucky Santa. That should be good for an extra present or two.
Too bad for my step-mom that she wasn't Santa. Over. And over. And over.
Labels: The Small-Handed Ones
posted by Diana at 8:44 PM
16 Comments:
stuffs knuckles in mouth to stifle laughter
Oh DEAR! Your poor step mom!
goes away so she can laugh properly...
In some cultures, it's seen as good luck when a dog pees on your shoes (don't bother researching that, just trust me and pass it along to others).
I was browsing the Signals catalogue and thought of you:
http://www.signals.com/cgi-bin/hazel.cgi?ACTION=SEARCH&howfound=signals&SEARCH_SPEC=piffle
Teri- At first, it was embarassing. Then it was sort of funny. But then, after the first few hours, it was just plain annoying and then maddening. My step-mom is a total trooper.
Leigh-Ann- Ahhh! Those shirts are scary! And funny. I'm guessing that the culture where that is true is a very small area in Nevada, USA? Lord, I can't wait to get that carpet pulled up in our living room. Cleaning pee from a floor is so much easier.
LOL. I almost sprayed coffee on to the keyboard.
What Ms. Piffle failed to mention, we DON'T have pets at home so there is no "peeing" to get used to. Cathy had to wipe the "spill" several times a day, usually before her coffee.
To make things even worse, I took Molly out for a run and she "let go" as I put her collar on her. I remarked to Cathy that "it" had happened, implying that I could not tend to it now. Big Mistake!!! She was painting and had to stop to clean up after us. I acknowledged my appreciation--and eventually made up for my neglect--much to her "cussing" of me and my ancestory. Molly still is a lovely pet as is Mad-kitty.
Love to all, The Ole RF-er
Being the recipent of much of Molly's over-enthusiastic "love" during our stay I can still say Molly is a sweet pup. Having grown up with a Dachshund who displayed similar habits whenever the doorbell rang I am not put off by cleaning up messes. However, I am happy to be able to sit down with a cup of coffee in the morning without having to run for the paper towels! In spite of this we had a wonderful visit and a superb Thanksgiving dinner. Diana, as always, outdid herself.
Love, C.
Do they make Depends for dogs?
If she pees on Santa just tell Colin she is "marking" him because she likes him so much.
Oh dear. I don't know if I'm punchy because of the move but I am laughing right now and thinking "well, Molly is just marking her territory. Apparently Cathy belongs to her."
I love it when your dad and Cathy comment. It makes reading your blog even more fun for me.
And now the sentimental tears start. Must go now.
Just in case you were wondering, I AM NEVER MOVING AGAIN!
Oh, that is too bad that Molly kept peeing on Cathy - funny, yet too bad. And seriously, or jokingly - not sure which to use here in a state where I should have slept later and am having a terrible time waking - love that Colin was concerned about Molly peeing on Santa. Never considered that as a job hazard for Old St. Nick.
Sanjay- Whoops! Careful, there!
Dad- Molly misses you and the running.
Cathy- Can't say you weren't loved.
Listie- I'm checking into it.
Stace- And who doesn't like Santa?
Dana- There, there. It'll soon be over and done.
Beth- We'll take it jokingly...I'm sure Santa has had that and worse. No wonder he only does this once a year.
I LOVE that Colin has it all figured out. What on earth did you do before birthin' that little Boy Genius? ;-)
You're treading on dangerous ground by suggesting that Santa might climb over the gate just like mom and dad?
Prepare yourself to break the news about Santa actually *being* mom and dad.
I'm sure the first thing Cathy did when she got home was put all her "yellowed" clothes in the washer!
If not a gingerbread man, at least a guy doing Jumping Jacks..or a babe doing Jumping Jills!
Diana. I will be happy to help anyways that I can. I have a workaround for ppl not being able to comment on my blog..
"For those who have trouble posting comments please use the comments link at the left at the bottom of the post, for those who used to comment as before continue to use the "comment" link to the right at the end of the post as always."
Can you give it a try? Thanks
Post a Comment
<< Home