Um, so yeah. It's been a week since I made an appearance. Sorry. Alive. Just seemed to come down with that bug; you know, the one with all the snot. The snot that seems to have replaced all grey matter, making me dulldulldull and want to sleepsleepsleep. (I love the frequent comment of *cough!hack!sneeze!* "Hey, doc, so how do you keep from getting sick?"....Answer: "Um. We don't. Please put your mask back on. Thank you so much."
So. Better now; just snoring at night. Poor, poor Charles. What the man puts up with.
Speaking of putting up with, I just have to share what we did today. (Actually, he said I had to. I think he's trying to make a point, but I don't see it.) See, Charles took off yesterday and today, it being Spring Break and all at his school. (No, administrators don't get things like Spring Break off, they get to use vacation days for such nonsense.) Anyway, yesterday, we chugged up to the Mecca of Madison and that destination of spring, Home Depot. We got this and that, and some topsoil. We were planning to hit one of the nurseries on our way out of town, when I leafed through the thingie of newsprint ads they put in the plastic bag with our baggable purchases and saw that they had TREES. FOR SALE. PRETTY, FLOWERING TREES. BACK THERE. AT THE HOME DEPOT! TREES! ON SALE!!!
Well. You can just guess where we were at 8:23 AM today, in the minivan, with the seats all put down, well, except for Sara's, as it would have probably looked, um....bad, to tie her to the roof. Even for just a little way.
I didn't get my hopes up. No, no, no. I grabbed just one flat-bed cart. But, you see, there were just so many different ones. So we loaded up a second flat-bed cart. One for Charles, one for me. Pity Sara wasn't bigger. She could have manned her own, instead of 'helping' me.
Did I mention that there was a steady 40 mph wind blowing? Adds to the ambiance.
So. $250.62 later, we trundled across the parking lot with our 12 trees (1 maple, 2 crabapple, 2 plum, 2 tart cherry, 2 dogwood, 2 ornamental cherry, one other that I don't recall, but it is really pretty, you better believe it) and a forsythia. Charles nixed the redbud as it was 'too tall'. Sheesh.
Not bad, I say, all-in-all, and these are lovely, healthy-looking trees.
Well, that is until we get to the minivan, which seems to have unaccountably shrunk in the interim.
"They won't fit," states Charles.
"Sure they will," I assert.
"Nope. No way."
Secretly, I agree. But, I am unwilling to give up without a fight. Plus, these are trees. Nice trees at an extremely good price. Nope. They will fit.
My eyes become steely.
Knowing he is at this juncture defeated, Charles gamely starts to load the 13 multiple-gallon buckets, each with a 5-8' sapling.
It's not working.
"We need a tarp," he says, hoping to wear me down.
"OK. We need a tarp," I chirp, and am sent back through the gale-beset parking lot and back into the home supply store to find a painter's tarp.
I dance across the parking lot with another $5.74 worth of goods.
He sees that I am not deterred, poor sot.
"We need plastic bags to put around the buckets. If we don't, when we place them on their sides, the dirt will spill out all over. I'll go get some," he says, and flails back across the lot and into the amazingly handy home supply store.
Meantime, I decide to start putting in the shorter, bendy-er trees, and find that I can actually get all but 5 or 6 in! Yippee! I am even more determined. Sara sits dejectedly in her carseat, picking at her wet pants. Did I mention that it was raining, too? Not hard; just enough to give the day extra character.
Charles returns with another $11.37 in hefty plastic drawstringed garbage bags and a double roll of duct tape. We start bagging and securing the remaining trees, load them in on their sides, some reaching nearly to the front windshield. Good thing Colin was in school so we could put his seat back. (Again, the whole frowned upon thing of tying your child to the roof rack, even for a relatively short distance.)
Yes. They all fit. Every-fucking-single-one. HAH!
The only thing that trumps realism in this family, is me.
Although, he was right about the redbuds. We'd have had to either knock out the windshield or angled them to protrude out the front door window. Which would have been totally reasonable, in my opinion, at least more reasonable than leaving them behind for somebody else to buy.
And so, without further adieu, I present the newest editions, currently residing on the front porch, until I can dig many large holes, say tomorrow and/or Sunday. Or so.
And Charles? Well, we made a visit to Best Buy, and now all is well.
One last thing, for those whose yen for gardening is still not sated, there are pictures on the sidebar taken today, demonstrating that spring, indeed, is here, even in the frozen tundra of Wisconsin.
It's even early! The crocuses are blooming and it won't be April until tomorrow.
Labels: Garden Wars