In Her Next Life She'll Choose To Be A Husky
Poor Molly-dog. She's been longing for winter for such a long, long time. And now that it's really here, she finds that it's not as, well, warm as she'd hoped. For the past near-week of sub-zeros (Fahrenheit) with another 20 degree drop due the the wind racing down from Northern Ontario, she's not wanted to be out for more than 2-3 seconds at a time.
It's really rather pathetic. She'll whine at the door or window, we'll let her out. She'll step out, turn around, and then flatten us in her need to get back to where the heat lives.
Now, this would be fine if she were like us, only needing to step outside to go from warm building to warm car to warm house, but she has steadfastly refused to be sensible like the humans and the cat and find a socially acceptable way to eliminate indoors.
She will dash out and pee in a matter of milliseconds (which is just dandy for the person at the door, but she has issues when it comes to pooping. See, she has a ritual she must perform that involves a complex dance of sniffing, pacing, turning, sniffing, and then finally trotting purposefully to her poop area 'round the side of the house and over by the little trees. This takes time, people.
Her solution?
The time honored one of 'holding it'.
And 'holding it'.
Finally, yesterday, the temperature was a balmy +10, so she and I tromped out to shovel snow (me) and romp (her). It was like she'd spent the last week cooped up inside the house, being taunted by the snow. Which she had. The joy! The glee! The pooping! She laid 3 very large piles in the space of 20 minutes.
Now that HAD to feel good.
It's really rather pathetic. She'll whine at the door or window, we'll let her out. She'll step out, turn around, and then flatten us in her need to get back to where the heat lives.
Now, this would be fine if she were like us, only needing to step outside to go from warm building to warm car to warm house, but she has steadfastly refused to be sensible like the humans and the cat and find a socially acceptable way to eliminate indoors.
She will dash out and pee in a matter of milliseconds (which is just dandy for the person at the door, but she has issues when it comes to pooping. See, she has a ritual she must perform that involves a complex dance of sniffing, pacing, turning, sniffing, and then finally trotting purposefully to her poop area 'round the side of the house and over by the little trees. This takes time, people.
Her solution?
The time honored one of 'holding it'.
And 'holding it'.
Finally, yesterday, the temperature was a balmy +10, so she and I tromped out to shovel snow (me) and romp (her). It was like she'd spent the last week cooped up inside the house, being taunted by the snow. Which she had. The joy! The glee! The pooping! She laid 3 very large piles in the space of 20 minutes.
Now that HAD to feel good.
Labels: The Furry Ones
posted by Diana at 11:19 AM
19 Comments:
Have you tried giving her the latest copy of US Weekly?
Is it possible to litter train a dog? Maybe a wading pool full of kitty litter in the garage would be an acceptable alternative to freezing her butt off in the snow?
Dang. Poor puppy dog- she must have had a tummy ache to beat the band.
Hopefully, warmer poo-ing weather comes soon.
Funny. Only because I can somewhat relate. Ours is a small dog - Yorkie and the thought of going out in the snow is not at all pleasant. Unless he finds the rabbit poop and then well lets just say he needs a breath mint and definitely gets no kisses until that mouth is washed out. Blech.
Molly is teh cute!
LOL! sounds like my dog!
he has such a time finding a spot. he can't wait for spring.
Lisa- A chalupa, indeed! Greg always had a way with words.
Cagey- Nope, but I did try a "People".
Listie- We have the blue wading pool and the kitty litter, now all we have to do is convince the dog...
Stace- She must have. She was still eating, though. Takes a lot to put a dog off her feed.
Lauren- Mmmmmmm. Rabbit pellet breath. Nuttin' better from a dog's point of view. Ew.
Sanjay- Good thing she IS cute, otherwise she'd be out with the field mice.
Amy- At least Molly has a very thick coat and longer legs than poor Jas.
Time to toughen up the dog. Just as we "harden" tomatoes from seedlings, getting them gradually ready to plant outside by giving them short exposures to the outofdoors each day, you need to do that to puir Mollie.
Lock her out.
For two minutes.
Poor thing not only was cooped up inside, but POOPED UP too!
God knows animals are such creatures of habit, they can't deviate from their rituals! Cats are the worst, but at least they'll use a litter box!
Hope you don't get any more of our frigid air down there! It's supposed to be colder than normal for the next 30 days! That's a lot of "holding it"!
I had a comment in mind. I really did. Then I saw Ruth's "cooped up inside, but Pooped up too!" And now I'm laughing even harder. I didn't think that was possible.
Poor Molly-dog. Our dogs have been known to utilize the garage in desparate times. You just feel so bad for them.
The complex sniffing, pacing, turning, sniffing you mention?? The Beast does that, too. Except with the added bonus of EFL feeds the stray cats, and keeps little houses for them. So I've got to freeze my ass off while The Beast sniffs for cats she will NEVER be allowed to catch before she takes a GOD DAMNED SHITE!! This is not amusing in -9 weather.
She also does the 'holding it in' thing when it snows, sometimes. Or rains. It makes summer AND winter fun. Occasionally, in emergency situations, she will trot delicately down to the front hallway and leave a package there so as not to sully the apartment itself. She's very considerate that way.
My brother, on the other hand, who is NOT considerate, never changes the lightbulb down there (it's very high up and he's tall). And when said canine has left an emergency package that you cannot see, you will fly straight into the fucking door as you skid on it.
Bleurgh.
Good lord, that wasn't a comment I left, it was a frickin' novel!!
Print it out and let Mol read it while she's sitting in the kitty-littered wading pool.
Jocelyn- I'm glad to report with the new! higher! temps! (of around 10 above F) she happily goes out romping in the snow for up to 15 minutes at a go, lounging and chewing on the remains of the charred Christmas tree trunk she pulled from the burn pit. (When it dips below zero when the sun goes down, she says "bugger that" and looks at us as though we're completely mental asking her to go out and poop.) I do love your 'tough love' approach. Fleeting sternness.
Ruth- YES! Yes she was. Leave it to you to come up with the proper phrasing. It sort of seems fair to have a month of colder than usual after our month + of warmer than usual. And after the thaw, comes the mud.
Beth- The people we bought the house from let theirs go in the unfinished part of the basement. Perhaps there was a reason they didn't finish it?
Babs- You know, as I stand at the door hollering, "JUST GO ALREADY! GO POTTY, MOLLY! GO! POTTY! NOW!", I often think of you and wonder if the Beast and Scourge of the Neighbor Round the Corner's Lawn has the same issues. As she's part Akito, she should be dressed for it better than most, but there is a limit to even the thickest coat. Poor Beast. Cats she will only get to dream of.
I continue to wonder how Trash is allowed to continue to live. It's a testament to your sweet and forgiving nature. (And we, here at the casa del Piffle, encourage comments, the longer and funnier the better. Molly thanks you for the reading material, too.)
My grandmother and my aunt both had dogs that were "paper trained." Which is to say, they'd pick some very washable spot (like, a basement with a cement floor and a floor drain) and lay down wads and wads of newspaper and taught their dogs to poop there when the option to go outside was not available...
that's hilarious! Glad she had a little more comfort in "going". It is amazing, I am sitting her wishing for it to at least get up to 30 degrees!!!!
It sounds like Mother Nature finally has her weather working properly. We've been at 70 degrees or so, and life is as it should be :)
We do get cold, sub-zero weather here, but it generally doesn't last more than a few weeks, and I think we only had two or three days where daytime temps stayed near freezing. I thought that type of weather would bother my arthritic dogs, but then I'd look outside and find them casually lying in the yard, enjoying the wind chill factor. I'm sure even they'd have their limits if they lived in Wisconsin.
Teri- I can just see myself trying to explain to Molly that, despite all our training, that it's OK to go on the papers in the house. Heh, heh.
SOtJ- Thanks! Even the jump up to the teens has been nice. She and Charles went outside for runs (not The Runs) Saturday and Sunday this weekend.
Leigh-Ann- I'm wondering if the cold makes their joints temporarily feel better? The cold is a good anti-inflamatory. (I had no idea the nights got so cold in Vegas!) I'm also relieved to see the temps have righted themselves. That was just too weird.
All I can think of is helping my sister clean the house she bought from my mom and seeing the basement. Apparently the dogs hated going outside in the winter. As I stood there, ankle deep in poop, shovel in hand, I turned to Kari and said "Never doubt my love for you."
Dana- Oh! Gah! Just....Gah! She owes you big time.
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