Monday, January 29, 2007

Just So We're Clear On The Subject

When in the course of human events, say after The Holidays, one is forced into action against the clutter of the closet and dresser, one must take arms against the aggressor.

Somethings are helpful in this battle to regain the ability to see the floor of the closet and to close the drawers of the dresser.

Somethings are not helpful.

Let's review:

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Stackable shoe shelves: Helpful

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Maurading small, black creature: Unhelpful

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Clothes neatly arranged so that the drawers are able to close easily: Helpful

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Maurading small black creature: Unhelpful

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Large, heavy-duty trash bags for putting in the items for donation: Helpful

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Maurading small black creature: Unhelpful

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Second tie rack to organize the ties: Helpful

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Maurading small black creature: Unhelpful

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Large, furry dog lying quietly by the door, watching: Most Unhelpful

(Trick question. True, she's not actively hampering the process but she should be chasing the small black creature around other parts of the house, not laying with her back against the egress door, so the small black creature can't even leave to go see what's happening in the kitchen.)

So, to sum up: Even if she says she really wants to help and all, the small black creature is never helpful.

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Never. Ever. Helpful.

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Blogger Mother of Invention said...

I just adore your black cat! Such neat pics! He does all the things that cats are supposed to do and what my black cats did as well! They do so worm their way into your heart, well, hopefully not tapeworms!!!

(tried to e-mail you about an exciting thing I'd love to have your feedback first song, a poem that I put to music, is up on my blog and on You-Tube with a video !! I'm very thrilled! A blog friend from the UK did the video and put it on You_Tube...I hardly know how to upload pics!! Have a peek/listen when you have time. Thanks!)

12:02 PM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

Oh my gosh is she ever cute! I know it isn't the most helpful thing in the world since Eddy often tries to help Keem and I make our beds but it is truly funny. And you're lucky. Mad-kitty allows you to take pictures of her being silly. Eddy will play and act all adorable with the sheets until we get the camera. Then he's all done.

12:25 PM  
Blogger Voyager said...

I have a soft spot in my heart for black cats. Maybe because they are hard to adopt. At the SPCA the black cats rarely get homes. Imagine thinking your sweet little helper could be bad luck.

2:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who are you and what have you done with my daughter--the one who her Da used to "give orders" to so she could effectively clean up her room. If I hadn't seen you lovely home, I would be hard-press to believe it. I must have had better success than I ever imagined. Even your sister is a wonderful homemaker, in addition to being a very effective corporate manager.

The Ole RF-er

2:42 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Ruth- I finally got caught up on everyone's blogs eeeeaaaarly this morning over my coffee. As I was at work (I like to get in really early and sip coffee and get my head ready) and we aren't allowed to view video, I haven't gotten a chance to watch your song. I will tonight, at home, via broadband, with a beer. Or a glass of wine.

Dana- That Eddy. He does love you best, he's just trying to make you jealous by sucking up to Keem. For years. Putting the sheets on and taking them off the bed is Mad-Kitty's favorite. I keep tossing her off the bed but she invariably gets made into it. Usually between the feather overlay and the fitted sheet. Then I torment her by grabbing her around the middle and wiggling her.

Voyager- Really? How horrible. I've always wanted a little black kitty. Who wouldn't? Her hair on my dark pants is hardly a problem, unlike her white predecessor. Ahem.

Dad- Who'd a thought we'd both become demi-neat? As I recall, my personal record was 23 dirty dishes on my dresser.

3:01 PM  
Blogger listmaker said...

Oh, my gosh, that's the best helpful kitty ever!

4:35 PM  
Blogger Stepping Over the Junk said...

cute! I just organized all my clothes and stuff and now I am wiping down baseboards and doors and window sills. By summer, I should have to start all over again!

5:35 PM  
Blogger Cagey said...

That poor, maligned kitty needs a lawyer for her libel suit. She's gonna win millions after she's done with you. hee!

I wrote a post today about clutter - I read a book about it, so now I'm all knowledgable and such.

8:59 PM  
Blogger Karen said... cute.

I used to have a black cat as well. At least you didn't name yours after a goddess of destruction - never name a black cat "Kali".

9:17 PM  
Blogger moegirl said...

But she's so cute! Yes, I completely understand the destructo-kitty instincts when one tries to organize. I had a nice hanging shelf to put my sweaters on. Of course, Kittycito tore that down.

10:26 PM  
Blogger brooksba said...

Oh! New blogger?

She is adorable! Love those eyes! If I ended up with a cat, I'm sure I'd just take pictures of it constantly. I'd clean just to set up situations for the cat to be a pest. Love the story you've told and even if she is not helpful, she makes a good post!

1:36 AM  
Blogger Rozanne said...

But doesn't "adorably, impossibly cute" trump "unhelpful" any day of the week?

2:22 AM  
Blogger Sanjay said...

Oh I loved the photos. Just gorgeousness, how can one label it as unhelpful? ;-)

4:23 AM  
Blogger Lauren said...

That cat is just too cute! We had cats when I was growing up. Once I moved out and realized I could breath I also realized I had been allergic to the cats I so loved. Now they are banned from my home. he he
Must be the thing to do this week. I just cleaned out my closet and donated all sorts of clothes too.

9:04 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Listie- Oh, yes. Such a help she is. What with the diving in the middle of your careful piles and ambushing you with the paw full of claws.

SOtJ- I quiver in the face of someone who washes her baseboards. I had a friend who used to wash her walls and doors. I'm still shaken by that. But, of course, I'm a shoddy housekeeper at best. I just like to be able to close things and find things.

Cagey- Hush, you! No giving of the ideas to the Mad-Kitty. She's devious enough, she is. Funny how our minds often think alike. I dub you the Clutter Knower.

Karen- What a completely great name for a cat! We named our first German Shepherd Maia (pronounced Maya) for the Tolkien: 'dark chaotic lesser deity'. She fit her name perfectly. Naming pets is a tricky business.

Stace- Oh, yes. Cute. And evil. She greatly enjoys leaping about the closed shelves and sending my sweaters over the edge. Had I been so foolish as to put up a hanging shelf, that would have gone the way yours did.

Beth- Yeah. I caved. So far, it seems to be working, but it rather sucks having to sign in with my longer email address than my former short username. Such is progress? (Yes. You should get a cat. Your camera needs one.)

Rozanne- No. No it doesn't. Especially as "adorably, impossibly cute" means that you have the camera at the ready, which only wastes more time. Wretched cat. In my defense, she was terribly homely when we first got her. I truly thought there was something mentally wrong with her, but that she was completely sweet. Wrong on both fronts.

Sanjay- Come spend a day (or 5 minutes making one bed) and you'll have your answer. Still not sure? Fold some clothes. Or try to sort them for the wash. Or cut up some chicken (Resulted in her launching herself out of the blue at the kitchen sink and fortunatly missing. Cats are NOT allowed on my counter. Nor are dogs.)

Lauren- I'd be heartbroken if I (or the kids or Charles) were allergic. I can totally relate to people who take all sorts of allergy treatments so they can keep their pets. (Now I just have to load up the van and take all the stuff to the Salvation Army. Currently it's heaped in the garage.)

9:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, 23 was the magic number and your mum had to hold up dinner while we washed them so we had somewhere to eat. (The old memories are always the best. I hope Colin and Sara are giving you some good ones.)

The Ole RF-er

1:26 PM  
Blogger moegirl said...

Oh, I meant to say this yesterday- Charles + ties- I'm still trying to get my mind around it.

11:13 PM  
Anonymous Leigh-Ann said...

There's not much that cats love more than a big closet full of clothes or linens, eh? Your photo sequence of your "little assistant" really captures life with a cat and clean clothes :)

I love that photo of your dog so much. My GSD turns 11 in about two weeks, and she's getting so old, it's sad. She's deaf and white-whiskered and arthritic, and I adore her, but I sure miss the days when she was young and spry like yours.

5:54 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Dad- Here's hoping that record never falls. Ug.

Stacy- Yes. Charles The Fashion God wears a shirt and tie more days of the year than not. I see it and still have a hard time with it, myself. I'll need to send you a picture, if he'll let me take one. Maybe I'll ambush him when his eyes are closed. He also IRONS his CLOTHES!

Leigh-Ann- Isn't is sad that dogs seem to get old so quickly. Our other two started to grey around the muzzle at about 2 or 3 years. I'll be terribly sad when your Eli is no longer in the pictures.

9:32 AM  

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