Tuesday, April 12, 2005

A Slow Day

It's time for a change in the weather, which almost always results in patients staying away in droves. This is something I've never understood, especially the slow days on a change from sun to rain, such as today. We are having Portland weather: 50s and drizzly.

While I would never (ahem) wish for anything but a full, breakneck schedule, if it is something I can't control, I figure it is best to go with the flow and enjoy the winding down of a slow day. My colleagues apparently feel the same as I was summoned to witness something "worth seeing" by our wonderful physical therapist. It seems a patient of our chiropractor had brought in a device for him to take a look at, something that had magically cured her longstanding back pain.

I emerged from the Bat Cave, which holds my desk, sample closet and filing cabinet, along with fax machine, copy machine, old medical records, the work space of 3 other staff members, many phones and severely stained carpet, to find my chiro pal lying on a physical therapy table, jiggling for all he was worth. The magical miracle device (costing $800 several years ago and complete with ancient Chinese writing) under his ankles, shaking his legs and everything connected to them back and forth for all they were worth. The rest of the clinic stood around him and laughed. A few minutes later, the machine finished and he got up, pronouncing that he felt "relaxed" but had some new numbness and tingling in his feet. This was duplicated by our medical assistant, physical therapist, and one of our techs. Four relaxed backs, four pairs of vaguely numb feet.

So there. You can't say we didn't put our down time to good use. A medical study evaluating a pseudo-medical device. Sadly, we did not procure funding prior to the study and, given the results of numb feet in 100% of our test subjects, it seems unlikely that the indecipherable Chinese company (my guess is that when translated the name will turn out to be "Acme") will be up to ponying up some cash to get these results published. Chalk that up to another lesson learned.

Time to quit stalling and read a New England Journal or 2 and have another cuppa coffee. Ooooh! Then lunch! Tuesdays are the day I usually meet my two friends for lunch and therapy. Here's hoping no one walks in at 11:55 with something bad, at least something that can't wait until 1:00. I am selfish like that.



Blogger Jamie said...

Whatever you do, don't try the Indecipherable Chinese rocket skates! ;-)

12:24 PM  
Blogger Rozanne said...

Freaky! Whatever could that thing be?

It sounds like something that would be sold on one of those shopping channels.

3:02 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Jamie (Hi, Jamie, I will e-mail you later and try to butter you up re the pie crust) and Rozanne-

It was really odd and looked like it should have cost $8. It was cream colored, about the size of a breadbox (hah!) with 2 U-shaped rests for your ankles on top. The 2 "U"s (which were side by side, again for the ankles) then jiggled back and forth. I can only assume that inside the rectangular breadbox, there was a motor and a lever that attached to the "U"s. The same thing would be accomplished if someone grabbed your ankles, with you lying on your back, and vigorously shook them back and forth. Am I making any sense? I am still perplexed, primarily by the $800 price tag. But, hey, she got better. Maybe she was a newt in a former life. (Monty Python reference, of course.) Maybe instead of "Acme", the translation is "Home Shopping Channel". Or maybe she got it on a 1/2 hour infomercial.

4:15 PM  
Blogger Rozanne said...

Good description. I can picture it.

I sure don't understand that $800 price tag either. Go figure.

3:30 PM  
Blogger Mojavi said...

today was ohhh so slow.....
800.00? was it big?

5:40 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Mojavi! Howdy! Welcome!

Heavens, no. About 6-8 inches high, the same wide and about a foot long. Yup, reportedly 800 smackers, and that was 1998 dollars (or so). You could tuck it under your arm.

10:32 PM  

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