Horror and Dismay
I am still reeling.
Two things happened at Sunday dinner tonight, a dinner, I might add that was tasty and left much in the way of leftovers. Good and efficient. We had grilled filet mignon, grilled chicken, fresh baked dill buttermilk bread, watermelon, and sauted garden zucchini with fresh herbs and red pepper. The wine? A nice pinot noir. Red wine makes me hum. Pinot noir makes me sing.
Within 5 minutes, my beloved son dumped catsup all over the lovely meat and my darling mother-in-law put Splenda in her glass of wine.
I wept silently.
Next Sunday, it will be Hamburger Helper and a bottle of cold duck.
Two things happened at Sunday dinner tonight, a dinner, I might add that was tasty and left much in the way of leftovers. Good and efficient. We had grilled filet mignon, grilled chicken, fresh baked dill buttermilk bread, watermelon, and sauted garden zucchini with fresh herbs and red pepper. The wine? A nice pinot noir. Red wine makes me hum. Pinot noir makes me sing.
Within 5 minutes, my beloved son dumped catsup all over the lovely meat and my darling mother-in-law put Splenda in her glass of wine.
I wept silently.
Next Sunday, it will be Hamburger Helper and a bottle of cold duck.
Labels: shtoopid, The Small-Handed Ones
posted by Diana at 9:06 PM
21 Comments:
Your son - well that's forgiveable. But Splenda in the wine? Ugh.
Stuff like that happens chez moi too - 'tis why I serve mac and cheese.
Oh my goodness. Heresy is what you speak of.
Invite me over for dinner and I would eat all that with RELISH, my dear. And that means "enthusiastically" not "pickle relish."
Linda
http://indigogirl.typepad.com
Teri- Yeah, my son is addicted to catsup (ketchup?) I am hoping to steer him away from such barbarian tendencies but it may be too late. Mac and cheese is about the only thing he doesn't eat with catsup.
Linda- It's a deal! Come on over any time, or give me notice and I will put a plate on a raft and float it across the lake.
Are you serious... splenda in wine?
I guess she wanted a late harvest grape :)
The ketchup... well he is young, but the woman and the wine is a travesty :)
Splenda? AIEE! In WINE?!
I pity your poor eyes, having to witness that travesty.
But that doesn't outweigh the jealousy I feel for eating that food that you described. Sounds delish. :)
Well, at least ketchup (I can't, can't bring myself to spell it "catsup") is full (well, contains anyway) of antioxidants...
The bottle of ketchup on the table at my grandparents house when we were there for dinner Saturday night was labelled "Meatloaf Enhancer." Ummmm, okay then.
One of our PBS stations here aired a documentary on ketchup recently. I may never eat ketchup again.
Mojavi- I kid you not. My father-in-law used to go one worse, though, he put sweet'n low and pepsi in his glass of red wine. I loved the man, but, yow!
Moonbatty- Thanks for the sympathy. It helps to share the pain.
Teri- Meat loaf enhancer! Brilliant! Sooooo....what is the scoop on ketchup? Do I want to know? I rarely use the stuff, even on fries, but sometimes....
Splenda in wine. That must have been so painful to watch. I can imagine my dad doing something like that.
At least *you* didn't have to drink it that way.
Speaking of Cold Yuck. When I was in college a friend of mine used to put a packet of sugar in that stuff. It made it fizz nicely, but, gosh, it's already disgustingly sweet as is.
Your grandfather had a cartoon on his meat case: A customer was asking the butcher what wine went with Hamburger Helper. Art always would reply, "Rose'." (For others, Art was a wine-fancier and could recommend with authority.)
RF
Iaiks! I have seen Americans here douse our lovely - and I mean lovely - traditional, amazing, ultra-delectable soups in Tabasco. Why bother visiting another country if all you're looking for is a replica of home? I can direct you straight to the nearest McDonald's but you might as well save your money. And our food is truly - and i mean TRULY! - amazing. Tell Cheff we have "green wine". Yes we do, only us and no one else. Now you must come.
Anyway, sounds absolutely delicious! Escept for the D-word buttermilk obscenity, I need only smell it to gag. Malodorous, vile herb!
Yes, maybe you should downshift in the wine dept. to some Paul Masson with the screwcap, or Annie Greensprings?? he, he, he....Colin has a soulmate in Allie. Hardly any food goes unadorned with ketchup. Some examples- of course quality steaks get doused, as well as scrambled eggs, and she has the ketchup "on the side" to dip her grilled cheese sandwiches. At hamburger places she orders with "ketchup only" and then ADDS ketchup when the burger arrives. I say to myself, "Well at least she's getting her licopine"
I too, decided to not knock myself out in the kitchen. Justin and Allie are not the most discerning eaters. Of course, tater-tots cause a frenzy of excitement at our house. (with ketchup of course!)
The ketchup thing - it's much better now that the USDA regulates ketchup producers...
The documentary was on the history of ketchup, all of its various incarnations. Ketchup orginally started as a way to use (get this) spoiled tomatoes that couldn't be stewed or diced and canned. You know, spoiled. Moldy. They pickled the mold right in. Aparently all that vinegar killed the rest of the mold? Sometime around, I don't remember exactly, maybe 1940 or 1950 or so(?), the USDA stepped in and made the ketchup producers use unspoiled tomatoes.
I however, still have the image of the rotting vat of tomatoes stuck into my head, which is what I think of every time I see ketchup.
The different spelling of ketchup can be traced to the major two early ketchup producers.
"Ketchup" is the Heinz variety.
"Catsup" is the Hunts variety.
It was also occassionally spelled "catch up."
I have nothing of value to add other than to say that was DAMN FUNNY.
Rozanne- Pass the insulin, STAT! Sugar in cold yuck? Now my teeth hurt.
Dad- I remember Art at the head of the table waxing eloquent on the liebfraumilch and gewertztraminer (yes, I am sure I have butchered the spellings).
Johnny- Yes, 'tis true. Horrible ugly Americans. Those type do that here, too, to anything regionally unfamiliar. What a sad way to live. You have green wine!!! I must try. That and one each of your delectable soups and a nice helping of each entree. Then on to seconds. Lovely, lovely food. I will forgive you the dill and make it for you with different herbs, say a bit of thyme and oregano?
Stace- So, in addition to fart and burp jokes, Colin and Allie will douse all their food in ketchup. Sounds like they are destined for each other. If he ate hamburgers, it would be ketchup with extra catsup. The rest, he already does. Why bother with the food at all? Sara is starting to do it too. Monkey see...
Teri- I bet the vinegar does kill the mold. Just think of it as nicely fermented and as a cure-all for the Clap (back when it was sensitive to penicillin) and such back then. I am glad I didn't see the special, though. Thanks also for the reason behind the 2 spellings. Once again, you are the go-to girl.
Cagey- All I could think of through dinner and the dishes was that I was SO blogging about it when I was done.
I thought penicillin was the blue-green mold that grows on bread, not the grayish white stuff that grows on tomatoes, but I have no idea where I got that idea, so it's entirely possible I made it up. :)
And don't get me started on the antibiotic-resistent bugs. Or antibiotics routinely fed to the meat animals we eat just to "keep them healthy" (and breed superbugs). Or people who want antibiotics for colds. Or pediatricians who don't prescribe antibiotics for bacterial infections, even though they've seen a very sick one-year-old SEVERAL times over the preceeding few weeks, until said bacterial infections settle into the lungs and turn into pneumonia - just in time for Christmas, because they don't want to throw antibiotics at a cold. ("It's viral." No it wasn't. Actually, I really like our kids' pediatrician. She just made the wrong call in this case. Done ranting now, I think.)
I read this to the s.o. and he yelled, "Splenda? WTF is wrong with people?!"
It seems our in-laws have much in common... Although mine would not even drink wine. It's Busch lite only for them.
D, Your Granddad Art might have talked about wine with authority, but what he liked and what he usually served was SWEET, white wine. Thus, in my youth I thought Annie Greensprings strawberry or peach was a treat. As a mature adult I learned to distrust his recommendations -- until he introduced me to merlots. JG◊
Okay, I am coming over for dinner right now. Zucchini? I love you. See, we could have a dinner other than chocolate. Except for the red pepper. Do you ever make yellow squash? I love yellow squash but never have it because I don't like to cook that much.
I will only use ketchup on the following foods - boiled eggs and the occasional french fry (but very rarely) and the little hashbrown thingys from Burger King. Otherwise, I am a mustard girl all the way and refuse to live in a mustard free home.
As for the wine, sorry, but do you remember TJ Swan? That's the only wine I ever liked and it was $3 a jug.
Teri- So very sorry your baby had to get so sick. Sometimes it really is hard to tell but that doesn't make it any better. Parent's WORST nightmare. I have no idea which is the penicillin mold. I was remembering it was a black mold, but who knows where I got that, you are probably right.
Jamie- I wish I had been able to yell that at the dinner table, too, but somehow I don't think it would have gone over very well.
Gerah- Here I expose myself for the beer snob I have become: Busch Lite?!? I would truly rather drink water.
Mum- Ah, Art. Glad you helped form my palate.
Dana- I should have ammended the zucchini to read "crushed red pepper flakes" the hot, sprinkle in food stuff, not red bell peppers. I dislike all green peppers and only like red, orange, and yellow ones raw, you can pick them out of my salads, if you wish, along with the tomatoes. I love, LOVE yellow squash but couldn't find any except as seeds and I just didn't want to fuss wih seeds, given my dismal track record. I think I will do so next year, though. I have never tried TJ Swan but finally got to try 2 buck Chuck (Charles Schwab), which is amazingly good. I adore good wine that is cheap. I may be a snob but it has nothing to do with price, only taste.
Okay, this is totally beating a dead horse, but my curiousity got the best of me and I had to look it up. Penicillin is a blue green mold - if you trust wikipedia. From another site I came up with the astonishing fact the penicillin grows in the rind of soft cheese, like blue cheese or roquefort. hmmmmmm..
What the mold is that grows on tomatoes remains unanswered.
Yup. I really am that much of a nerd.
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