Sunday, February 26, 2006

Conversations With Sara II

Our scene: The kitchen. Our heroine at the sink doing something kitcheny, probably the dishes. Sara enters, stage right.

Sara: "Hi Mom! A cookie for Molly, a cookie for Madison, a cookie for Sara."

Diana: (Mind on the dishes, answers absently.) "Hi Bear!"

S: (Gleefully) "A cookie for Molly, a cookie for Madison, a cookie for Sara!"

D: "You mean a "treat". A treat for Molly, a treat for Madison, a treat for Sara."

(Note: In our house it is very important that a doggie food reward be designated as a 'treat' rather than 'cookie' or 'biscuit' or 'snack'. With dogs that are too smart for our own good, we learned the hard way that we have to start spelling words of dog delight. For instance, with Maia, our first and brightest, we had to end up spelling 'treat', 'breakfast', 'ball', 'out', 'outside', 'play', 'raccoon', 'squirrel' and 'Hottentot'. There were more but I forget what else. You get the idea.....What? Why 'Hottentot'?....Well, that came about because we were teasing her one day about "Where are the Hottentots, Maia?" and pointing to the heat vents in the floor. She picked that one up very quickly and, after that, would go ballistic, barking madly as she ran from heat vent to heat vent, warding off the Hottentots when asked. "Are there squirrels?" would cause her to run to the sliding doors and bark at the trees. "Are there raccoons?" would cause the same behavior except with the barking at the floor in the bedroom, presumably where a raccoon had died, having crawled to the back of the crawlspace under the house, as for a few weeks there was the inexplicable smell of rotting fish coming from under the floor area at the back of the room. After a while, it resolved; once again, confirming for us that if you just leave something alone, it will eventually go away.)

Anyway, as 'biscuits', 'cookies' and 'snacks' are things people make and eat in our house, and 'treats' are generally not the chosen word, well, the less the spelling (and the less often a large dog goes mistakenly racing to the kitchen in a dancing, jumping fit of rapture for a Treat-Treat-Treat!!!!), the better for all involved.

Back to our conversation:

S: "Yes! Treat! Treat for Molly, treat for Madison, treat for Sara!!!"

D: (Noticing for the first time that the words of her progeny are muffled.) "Sara....are you eating something?"

S: "Treat!"

D: "Sara, where did you get the treat?"

S: (Going to the cupboard with the box of puppy treats and opening the door.) "Treat, Mommy! A treat for Molly, a treat for Madison, a treat for Sara!"

D: (Pointing at the box of treats.) "Sara, did you just eat a puppy treat?"

S: "Treat!"

D: "Let me smell your breath, sweetie." ....sniiiiiiff

Nope, just the sweet smell of graham cracker. Too bad; she would have had a soft, silky coat and strong teeth.



Blogger The Lioness said...

Oooh, I loved this post! But... Hottentots?! How intellectual of you! I also mourn her lackluster coat. What sad lives you lead indeed.

2:51 PM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Dana has now disolved into uncontrollable laughter. Why has Dana started referring to herself in the 3rd person? No one knows. Not even Dana. Dana might be insane.

Anyway, very, very cute. Proof again that I love your family (and I'm not even going to do the "in the non-stalker kind of way" disclaimer).

After seeing Eddy go into raptures over his treats (small, rubbery fish scented things), I was tempted to try one. Fortunately I came to my senses and did not.

4:31 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

I know tons of people who admit to have et doggie treats/dry dog food as kids...
was just with two of 'em yesterday, and IT CAME UP IN CONVERSATION.

Quit reading my mind, would ya?

5:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least you did not experience a trick like you sister--beans up the nose and yew berries which needed to be extracted medically with much puking. Oh, how do we survive parenthood?!?!?

The Ole RF-er

6:32 PM  
Anonymous Colleen said...

Too funny!!! So, does that mean that Molly and Madison enjoyed some graham crackers for their treat, too?

10:47 PM  
Anonymous Ariella said...

Ah, goodness! I love that you had to spell out words for the dogs; that is so cute. We had a scottish terrier and then all those bull terriers... they are also smart. I think the most obvious is "car ride" as in, "Do you want to go for a car ride?" This morphed into the dogs thinking that anytime we said "car," they were going to go on a trip. Not very likely!

I'm not embarrassed to admit that, as a child, my father told me that MilkBones were good to eat as a snack and that I did so for at least two months before my mother found me eating one and told me that daddy was just having a little bit of fun at my expense... Ahh, veterinary humor.

7:46 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Johnny- Well, when she complains about hating her hair in future years, she can blame it on her choosing the graham crackers rather than the puppy treats.

Dana- It is usual for royalty to refer to them selves in the 3rd person, yes? That or the plural (We are NOT amused). I am relieved that you didn't decide to try something that was described as both "rubbery" and "fishy".

Teri- This "twin" thing gets a bit freaky at times, eh? I did find it interesting that I really wasn't concerned that she might be eating puppy treats with reckless abandon, I just wanted to know.

Dad- For which I am eternally grateful.

Colleen- You know, I didn't think to grab the furry ones and smell their breath. Next time...

Ariella- So true! It was one thing when one was adddressing the dog, but another when we were just speaking normally to each other to have to spell each of those words. Became second nature. Even when not around the dog. Sigh.

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMAO!!! so funny!
now a dog owner, I truly believe that bunnies are the spawn of satan. if there's one in the yard - screw going pee - he has to have it. my arms can't take much more of that!!

10:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, that's where James and I got Hottentots! We constantly tease the girls with "Where are the Hottentots", and neither of us could remember where we picked it up. It drives them crazy. They run around all excited and they start frantically digging at the couch cushions. Big seester is still influencing me.

5:04 PM  
Blogger brooksba said...

I love it! As far as spelling, we've done the same with our dogs. We used to have to spell walk. Then it was woods. We finally had to spell go as well. As in G-O for a W-A-L-K in the W-O-O-D-S.

5:50 PM  
Blogger Jamie said...

In our house, one of the words the dogs understand best is "wannagofora." What comes after that doesn't matter, because whatever it is (walk, ride) is desirable.

"Treat" also gets a predictably hysterical reaction. :-)

P.S. I have heard that my mother sampled Alpo when she was a child.

9:28 PM  
Anonymous Gerah said...

I'd worry about any child who DIDN'T eat a pet food product at some point...

8:17 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Amy- Oh, those dastardly wabbits! We have one warren that I know of, but fortunately, it is off to the side, at the edge of some woods, so it is unusual for the bunnies to be near the front of the house, where the peeing and pooping take place. Deer are more of a problem as far as a distraction from the business at hand.

Gail- Isn't it fun to mess with their furry little minds?

Beth- Yes! And people look at you like you are some crazy pet person when all you are trying to do is avert the chaos.

Jamie- Given your three, I can just imagine the chaos when uttering that "word"! For some reason, I have this memory of a childhood conversation with some friends, all of which had sampled various brands, and Alpo was thought to taste the best. We had cats and kitty crunchies never appealed to me.

Gerah- They seem healthy, better than bugs or dirt, eh? Plus they come in all sorts of interesting shapes.

9:42 AM  
Blogger Cagey said...

My sister is all about the "special treats" with her kids (i.e. cookies are only for "special treats"). I like to tease her that she is raising a couple of Future Emotional Eaters. :-)

11:26 AM  
Blogger Rozanne said...

Having never owned a dog in my life, I had no idea they understood English so well.


I'm especially amazed at Hottentots. Maia must have been one incredibly smart dog.

2:51 PM  
Blogger listmaker said...

HAHAHAHA! Too funny; congrats to Sara for putting one over on her mom.

8:18 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Cagey- Now I have this image of your sister doling out Milk Bonz to her kids with great ceremony and Beggin' Strips if the reward was an extra special treat.

Rozanne- Yeah, Maia could even put two separate commands together, like "Maia. Downstairs. Getyourball." Molly seems to be a lot like her. Emma was bright, just not quite on that level.

Listie- I am so, so screwed when she is 16. I am taking notes on you and RT.

9:41 AM  
Blogger moegirl said...

Too cute. Reminded me that my sister was a regular Meow Mix eater. However, Meow Mix never seemed to enhance her hair...

8:12 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Stace- "Meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow..." Have that damn jingle in my head, now.

Which sister? T or J? Enquiring minds and all that...

8:18 PM  
Blogger moegirl said...

J. She would eat anything. Sand, barkdust, gravel, coins and plastic. We were always amazed. Fortunately, she grew out of it.

7:49 PM  

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