Friday, February 10, 2006

Lessons Learned

It's the end of a completely typical week. I feel compelled to put something out there as I am bored with seeing the same post for too many days running and the pressure to have something new up mounts. Initially, you feel that it is time to write. Sometimes you have an idea. Preferably a funny idea. Keep 'em laughing. Then your standards start to slip. And plummet. And now I'm in freefall.

See, nothing happened this week.

But that's not really true, is it? Life, by its very nature is things happening.

So, I will challenge myself to come up with something that was learned by each member of our little stuck-in-the-doldrums family.

Charles: Ah. Charles learned not to bite and chew a Snicker's bar when he is trying to keep a temporary crown on, until the permanent one is in. He also used up a packet of tooth-luck as the new crown came in early and was, in fact, on site when he went in bright and early on Monday morning. He also learned that, despite having had, now, 3 root canals and 3 crowns, that it does not get less unpleasant with experience.

Diana: Sigh. I learned that denial is a powerful thing. Even if you are 24 years old and have 3 children and have come in to see me for abdominal discomfort and flank pain and you are usually very regular with your "monthlies" and, well, it's been around 5 months since you last had your period and you don't have a partner now, but last did this fall and, well, you didn't use any protection... And when I come in to tell you that you not only have that rip-roaring bladder infection but are quite likely approaching your 3rd trimester of your 4th pregnancy, based on the size of your uterus on my very limited exam and your less-than-certain dates, and you sit there completely stunned, well, what is there to do but to hold your hand and pat your shoulder as it all finally sinks in. Sigh.

Colin: Hm. He learned, once again, that Mom means what she says. For instance, if, in a fit of pique, he was told that if he undid the straps of his snow pants so that I had to unknot and then re-feed them through the clips ever again (instead of just unzipping the damn thing and taking them off over his shoulders) he would lose computer privileges. If, once again, he did just that, well, he would, indeed, be off the computer, no matter how very sorry he was. Grrrr.

Sara: Sara learned that if the whole damn household has fallen to a virus, it is just a matter of time until she gets it. Fortunately, she has a great constitution and was completely better in a couple of days. She also has honed her nose-blowing skills nicely.

Molly: Nope. The dog-human has not really learned anything this week. Not to jump on the couch. Not to jump on the humans. Not to reliably come when called. Not to stop nipping. Nothing.

Madison: Now, the cat-dog has learned a couple of lessons. First, if you bite your person's nose in the pre-dawn while she is asleep, you will be batted across the bed and onto the floor. This is called a "reflex reaction". Second, if you jump on the edge of the tub right after splashy Sara has had a bubbly bath, you will slip. Given your trajectory, you will fall into the tub, still rather wet and full of mounds of bubbles. You will then have a very difficult time getting out, well, because of all the slipping and sliding and loss of purchase for ones feet. When your worthless person comes to see what the hell all the ruckus is about, she will be incapacitated by laughter as all she sees are flying paws and tail, leaving you to get yourself, finally, all bedraggled and bubble-splattered, out of the tub. Hiding out behind the toilet will not screen you from the laughing and pointing. Even the dog joins in the mirth at your expense.

Diana: I learned that I just should keep my camera looped over my arm as I never have it handy for the really good shots.


Oh! I know! Molly did learn something this week: She learned that she no longer fits under the living room couches. Of course, this knowledge came after getting herself stuck under there several times, placing her at the mercy of Mad-kitty, who is still quite small and can scamper around the marooned puppy, batting her across the nose and chewing on her tail. Once, again, did we come to the rescue?

What a silly question.

Of course not.

What better way to learn than by facing your own consequences?



Blogger Rozanne said...

Excellent post! See stuff does happen all the time.

I, too, am stunned and mind-boggled that that 24-year-old girl wouldn't have had an inkling of her pregnancy.

It would have been great to capture the cat in the tub incident on video. I'll bet she was mad and embarrassed. You know how cats get that way. That's probably why she had to hide behind the toilet.

1:30 PM  
Blogger HomeFireBlue said...

I have no un-snarky comments for the 24 year old who - apparently - doesn't know where these babies are coming from, but, I do have a request. Can you send your pets-who-learn over to my house to, uh, teach mine? Mine are driving me nuts with their obtuseness (is that a word?)


3:13 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:26 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

ohhhhh, evil blogger ate my comment. I'm sure it was brilliant and witty, and cannot possibly be replicated. So this one will have to do.

I'm in awe of your ability to make "nothing" so interesting. And I'm laughing at your cat.

(I swear my word verification word is the same one I had before. This bodes ill for the viabilty of this comment.)

5:15 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

ummmm, or I'm blind. (I just deleted the one I thought didn't show up so I don't look like a complete idiot. Actually, it didn't appear until I clicked the comment link - wasn't showing up on the view that shows the post with the comments.)

5:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please don't ever feel you MUST write; only write when you want to. We don't want this blogging to become an obligation, a chore, a frustrating pain in the butt must-do thing. It should always be a fun-sharing kind of thing....yeah, right.

You really seemed to hit your stride describing puppy/kitty antics. We, too, are laughing and enjoying your pets far, far away from the stray hairs! Nothing in our coat pockets!

6:09 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Rozanne- The video in my brain is hilarious! Just wish I could download it. She was indeed mad and embarassed. Brings a smile to my face. Probably why she bit me on the nose the next morning.

Blue- I'm not sure you want your pets to know what mine do.

I'm glad you held back on the snark in this one instance (most do deserve it, don't get me wrong). She was just seemed so small and helpless, like she'd been a victim from birth. At some point, you need to say, "Enough. I am responsible for my life," but I do think she is one who has had it beaten out of her. I can't seem to stop thinking about her. It was just so sad.

Teri- (all together, now)
Damn blogger! We curse you! It wouldn't let me comment on yours for about a day.

6:10 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Anon- Thanks for the encouragement. I do only write for the fun of it, but part of the fun is being part of the group, you see, and part of that is the dialogue here in the comments. Trust me, all selfish with the writing.

6:25 PM  
Anonymous leslie said...

Will be grinning about your cat all evening. Glad your daughter was out of the tub!

The mind boggles at a mother of three not figuring out that she was pregnant. What a nightmare :-(

7:27 PM  
Anonymous christie said...

Why the hell are my patients coming to see you???? My star patient of the week is in her mid-thirties, just out of prison, on multiple seizure meds, plus a Hep. C viral load that is out of this world who intentionally got pregnant (number 6, the first 3 have been removed from her custody...) and there's SOOOO much more to her story, seeing that second line on the preg test made me want to SCREAM!!!! (Oh, and she just failed her mandatory drug screen for parole, surprise) Okay, done bitching now.

We had an episode of "baby and bathtub vs. cat" this week, baby and bathtub won, cat was PISSED, baby thought it was HYSTERICAL, but of course, no camera handy.

9:36 PM  
Blogger brooksba said...

Hehehehehehehe! I am just giggling here.

I love this post. You are great!

5:17 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Leslie- Oh, that would have been extra funny as the daughter tried to hug the kitty, all soapy.

It happens more often than you'd think. My personal record is the woman who came in at about 30 weeks for "abdominal bloating". Heh. Yeah. You're having a baby in 2 months. I pray she placed the child for adoption as she seemed so not ready to parent. I've always been curious how they pass off feeling the kicks, but that didn't seem to be the time or place to ask.

Christie- Oh, yikes. Now her, there's just no excuse for. That just makes me hopping mad. Well, maybe the parole violation will send her back to the pokey for the duration of the pregnancy and she will be forced, via her incarceration, to do fewer drugs and get some prenatal care.

Heh, heh, heh. Baby AND bathtub AND kitty. Not a good week for kitty self esteem.

Beth- Thanks. I passed it on and Mad-kitty is pleased that her woe was for a good cause. Well, actually, she really doesn't feel that way, being a selfish cat, but I am spinning it for her in a good light.

12:05 PM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

I understand the thought about wanting to post something, it's not so much that I feel I need to post something as it is that I NEED the comments. I am such a comment junkie.

This, this post that you claim to be about nothing, it amazes me. The laughter and the sadness (about the pregnant girl) just floored me.

And yes, you must keep your camera with you at all times. You have a baby dog-human and a baby cat-dog. It's always going to be hilarious.

You think getting your nose bit is bad? Small kitten I once had decided to wake me up by biting my nipple. I bet she flew farther across the room than Maddy did.

12:09 PM  
Blogger listmaker said...

All sympathy to Charles. I hate when temporary crowns fall out, especially when the resulting vacancy is noticeable.

I love the kitty story. My FatCat used to sit on the edge of the tub while I bathed the kids and he invariably fell in (pulled in is more like it). Weird cat that he is, he rather liked it.

And, yes, you should have your camera with you at all times to record these incidents for posterity.

12:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gee, ain't parent-hood fun? Had a young student 5 years ago who was so happy that she was pregnant again, and this time "he" plans on marrying her. Nice girl, but, good luck!!!

Just back from Hawaii where it is warm, sunny and windy. Am tanned and now freezing in Oregon and reading Piffles again. Hi to all my buds out in Piffle-land. Good to be back with you-all.

The Ole RFer

12:46 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Dana- Yeouch! Had Mad done that she'd be stuffed and on the mantle. The dog-human is currently at my feet, shamed for going into the cat-dog's space (where her food and box are) and harassing her. Of course, the cat-dog had just been eating Maul's food, so she probably had it coming.

Listie- I always think of what it must have been like 100 years ago without modern dentistry. And then I wish I hadn't thought about it at all. FatCat sounds hilarious.

Dad- Welcome home! Hard to have much sympathy about returning to the cold, poor baby. After clinic at the Health Dept, the staff were telling me about all the 16-yr-olds seen this week with multiple kids already. Just too horrible.

9:10 AM  
Blogger moegirl said...

Wonderful post- we all learn everyday, except perhaps in the case of the 24 year old, the lesson takes a while to sink in!

Hilarious about kitty- I hope you are able to capture more of her antics on film and post the pics!

2:34 PM  
Blogger Cagey said...

Guh-reat post!

10:00 AM  

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