Tuesday, January 24, 2006

The Paint Can Is Half Full

There is an up side and down side to everything, people.

Work 1/2 time, you miss out on 1/2 of the decisions. This means you can piss and moan about what was decided in your absence. I call this a "plus". None of the responsibility, all of the gripe.

They are painting the office. Right now.

{Mmmmm BOY! Smell those heady fumes. "What's that, Mrs Jones? You say your breathing has gotten much worse since stepping foot in the clinic? Good thing the painter is a fireman and can get a hold of a respirator if needed. Or an ambulance."}

Down, Babs. He's married.

It had been bandied about for months but finally, in a fit of pique, I guess our office manager threw up her hands and thrust paint chips in front of all providers who happened to be on site and had them chose between an unspecified number of colors.

{Let's just pause to muse on the whole "(s)he's a trained medical provider, therefore knows how to coordinate colors" concept. No wonder we have a God complex.}

I was absent.

This was probably good, as I am so far from being able to chose paint colors that, if there is a color on a wall, I will invariably paint it in a shade of whitish pale. The exception is Colin's room, which is a rather depressing shade of light blue that I agonized over to compliment his comforter. I should never be allowed to choose paint.

I am good at criticizing it, though. Those who can't paint, mock.

It seems that the other female provider wasn't there, either, though, so our chiropractor closed his eyes and pointed or something, resulting in us having the whole office painted in light olive and light brown with accent walls in all the small rooms of dark olive and dark brown.

The counters are grey.

My, look how much smaller the small rooms look with the dark, dark wall facing the door.

The painter mutters, "I didn't choose the colors," every time someone makes a comment.

On the bright side, it should markedly increase Prozac prescriptions.

Everybody, buy stock in Eli Lilly. It's about to go through the roof.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not sure who chose the colors but, YUCK! May I suggest the next outing to the paint store be to consult their color coordinator? Honestly, most places do have someone with a modicum of ability in that department. Worst case, send them to me and I will run it by my painting group. At least they are used to analyzing color even if it is water color.


7:06 PM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

Um, yeah, that's horrible. I can't stand the smell of paint because I break out into hives and those colors? No, no, no, no. I might just break into hives from that as well. They're not bad, it's just too dark. Yikes.

Although I am all for buying stock. That might be something to look into.

11:15 PM  
Blogger Babs said...

LOL I nearly spit me tea out when I saw 'Down Babs'

{Of course, if you DO happen to run into ANY firemen who are SINGLE, I'm more than happy to take them off your hands}

And the chiro needs to be tested for color-blindness or sometime.

Toot-sweet, even.

3:50 AM  
Blogger Babs said...

That would be 'And the chiro needs to be tested for color-blindness or SOMETHING'

The whole fireman thing must have gotten me excited.

I'm so ashamed.

*hangs head down*

3:53 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Cathy- Sigh. Yes.

I've always felt that light, warm colors are least depressing in a medical office. At least mustard yellow is not involved. Yet.

Dana- Here's some benadryl for the hives...catch!

Babs- Funny, but the walls blend with our chiro's wardrobe. We figure he chose colors that he could blend in with, therefore becoming invisible at will, should someone come in whom he didn't want to be seen by...

Crazy like a fox, he is.

10:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is why Cathy does not let me choose paint. I know Red-Green-Blue from computer graphics class. Your mom and I once got free paint and 3 cups of pigment and got to mix our own. It worked out quite well. You were too young to contribute and Gail was not even thought of.

The Ole RF-er

1:18 PM  
Blogger Rozanne said...

What an awful color scheme. Kind of UPSish.

Very depressing.

I think doctors' offices should be pale yellow or white.

I had to find another yoga studio because the one I'd been going to painted the walls high-gloss brown. Who wants to do yoga in a dungeon?

4:00 PM  
Blogger moegirl said...

Those are depressing colors! We got lucky at our non-profit this year, our decreipt office got a new paint job courtesty of a group of High school volunteers. They picked a nice light beige with white trim.

5:09 PM  
Blogger Cagey said...

Well. Here I thought it was some unwritten rule that all medical professionals should paint their offices in soothing blues and greens. There's a reason why to this day, I STILL remember the pattern in my orthodontist's office. Focusing on the ugly blue pattern helped me get through many a painful visit.

6:37 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Dad- I'm assuming this was on an Air Force base in Japan. I can only imagine the powdered pigment was various military shades of green, brown and gray, which sounds a bit too familiar.

Rozanne- I am partial to a nice, light apricot also. Anything clean, light and a bit warm-toned. I just hope the patients don't decide to go elsewhere now that we've turned the clinic into a dungeon.

Stacy- Beige is good, too, if very light and off set with the white. How nice of the students, even if they did it so it looked good on their resumes. (Tcha! What a cynical person I am.)

6:42 PM  
Blogger brooksba said...

On the bright (or dull side in respect to the colors chosen), at least you got a good post out of it!

2:57 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Cagey- Me, too. That's why I didn't even bother to ask what color. I just assumed they were using the same cold white or something very light blue or so.

Beth- Thanks. Offices, no matter the type, are such odd places.

9:42 AM  
Blogger Jamie said...

Ugh! Depressing. But good for mocking, yes!

My vet's office is mainly white (with biiiiiiiig paintings of cats and Labrador retrievers...too bad you can't use amusing representations of your patients to cheer things up ;-)), but it has accent walls of a kind of periwinkle-lavender color. I like it.

I personally favor creamy yellow or robin's-egg blue for cheeriness. I used to suffer from the same "shades of pale" problem that you describe, but after having to repaint the bathroom from a particularly heinous icy shade of blue-white, I switched gears once and for all.

I didn't even used to *like* yellow. Now it's everywhere. Huh.

11:45 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Jamie- Heh. Heh, heh, heh...
Sorry, was just picturing some amusing patient pictures.

That would even liven up the dark olive.

6:51 PM  
Anonymous Christie said...

Ugh, ugh, and ugh. Being ill isn't enough, now you have to depress all your patients and make them cry too? Maybe you can get some avacado green vinyl exam tables or gold chairs to accessorize?

10:07 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

Maybe painting the countertops a brilliant orange would help? No. probably not.

(and hey, you're dog-eats-cat picure is having comment issues - the comment link appears to be broken.)

11:09 PM  
Blogger listmaker said...

Oh, yuck! How depressing. With the walls painted green how will you be able to tell if your patients are green with nausea or just reflecting the color of the room?

4:27 PM  
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