Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Movies I Hate

Adorable Teri recently shared an extensive list of movies she loves.

As I am her Evil Twin, I was frankly surprised to find that there were very few movies on her very tasteful, highbrow list of flicks that I had seen. Namely, the Monty Python, the Muppet Movie, Super Size Me, L.A. Confidential, The Full Monty and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Then, I realized that it was because I was her evil twin, not her good twin, that I had missed all this good fare.

So, in the spirit of Evil Twinhood, I started musing on all the horrible movies I have seen. Not those universally accepted horrible movies, like Ishtar (which I actually never saw, heeding the advice of every living soul who went and saw it, even with benefit of alcohol). No. Movies that most others seemed to love, at least based on the box office receipts. The list is partial because I can never seem to remember what I have seen and what I missed and what I was in the room with but was sleeping through, while Charles watched and teased me about not being able to stay awake afterward. Apparently, this happened a lot. What can I say. It was during the On-call Decade (basically 1989-2000). Loosing a night's sleep every 2-8 nights, depending on your schedule, will do horrible things to one's movie-watching memory.

Without further ado:

Movies Everybody Loved That I Despised

  1. Titanic
  2. Ghost
  3. Braveheart
  4. A Few Good Men
  5. E.T.
  6. All of the Rocky movies
  7. Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2
  8. Elf
  9. Seabiscuit
  10. Something About Mary
  11. Van Helsing
  12. National Treasure
  13. Most Woody Allen movies
  14. The Matrix
  15. Star Wars 1, 2 and 3 (Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith)
  16. Austin Powers

That's enough. No justification aside from a blanket, "Gosh, I thought _____ movie was stupid, un-funny, without redeeming plot, horribly acted, pretentious, and/or made me want to throw something through the screen." There are probably many, many more, but I can't come up with them.

Sorry if I offend anyone by disliking your all-time favorite. Several didn't make the list as I felt quite sure that I'd hate them, so why try them. (Yes, yes. Terribly mature and open-minded of me.) Movies like Gangs of New York and Gladiator. So, in honor of the self-serving movie awards season, which would you add to the list? Go ahead. Make me shake my head in sorrow if you thought each and every minute of the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy was utter agony or if you thought Raising Arizona was the most un-funny 2 hours you have ever seen. I forgive you.



Blogger Teri said...

uh-oh. I hated Raising Arizona. It probably has a lot more to do with the fact that Nicholas Cage makes my skin crawl than anything else, though. I usually love Coen Brothers movies. (It is C's favortie movie though...)

Your list of movies you hate. Yeah. Didn't see many of them. Why? Because I was convinced I would hate them, so why bother?

And Gangs of New York sucked. So bad I didn't watch all of it.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Teri said...

p.s. I maintain that I'm the evil twin. You're the one who took that dang hippocratic oath and all - and I am left-handed, and that's just sinister...

10:33 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Teri- Nicholas Cage must be your Russell Crowe. I can't stand Crowe. I have been fond of Cage since seeing Valley Girl in the 80s. How I love Valley Girl. That's OK. Your fondness for Monty Python absolves you of all.

What if I said I only moved my lips for the swearing of The Oath of Hippocrates? Eeeevil, I tell you.

11:10 AM  
Anonymous Kate W. said...

No Something About Mary? Come ON!! I guess you haven't seen Wedding Crashers then have you? Sometimes I like "easy" movies. Not that I am easy myself... Just every once in a while, I like to see a movie that doesn't make you think. Great, now you think I am easy AND stupid...sigh

Hey, I also found out that if you rebel and "skip" the word verification,Your comment will not get posted! AND a big guy name Butch comes to your door with a baseball bat.. oh, no that's something else entirely.

12:56 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Kate- Wedding Crashers! That's what I need to see. Oh please, please don't get me wrong. I loooove mindless movies. For some reason, Something About Mary just left me flat.

Yeah, that word verification thingy. It's supposed to prevent the spammers, which it does, it's just irritating. Hey! They sent Butch! He smells better than Gus. Lucky you.

3:13 PM  
Anonymous Colleen said...

Well, internet, you heard it here first--Kate W. IS EASY!! Hee hee hee....seriously, though, DON'T tell her husband!

How about "Jurassic Park II"? Did that suck or what?

3:15 PM  
Blogger moegirl said...

I agree with some of your worst list. I too, cannot deal with sappy sentimentality such as "Ghost" or "Titanic". The one movie that everyone loves and I hate is "Dirty Dancing"- So cheezy. Especially, "nobody puts Baby in a corner"- auuugh....plus I don't really like Patrick Swayze.

Allie really loves Hilary Duff, so we rented some Hilary Duff movie where the whole premise of the movie is that her mom cannot find a boyfriend or is constantly dumped...her mother was played by Heather Locklear! Oh yea, totally believable, I can see how it would be difficult for someone like Heather Locklear to attract a man. Yes, poor dumpy Heather...

4:36 PM  
Blogger brooksba said...

Oh! This is great! I did a post once about the 50 worst movies in my opinion. Titanic was near the top. Actually, I dislike Leo so much that I'll watch The Quick and the Dead just to see him die. I really disliked Braveheart as well. I won't even pretend to be interested in Star Wars (any of the six). I haven't seen some of the others on your list.

6:12 PM  
Anonymous Leigh-Ann said...

I hated "Napoleon Dynamite", which perhaps just means I'm old. I like dry, subtle humour, but I just didn't find ND funny. All my younger friends and relatives think it was a work of art, though.

6:59 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Colleen- TELL her husband you said?

Actually, I didn't hate Jurassic Park II. It was not good, no siree, but I didn't want to throw things, just laugh inappropriately. Good-bad, if you will. I am pathetic. Same with J.P. III. There is a point when they get so wretched that they get good. Maybe that means that I actually hated it even more than you? You just hated it enough to hate it.

Stace- Yes! Dirty Dancing definitely belongs on the list. Probably Footloose (didn't see it) and certainly Flashdance. Despise Swayze.

Beth- I'm with you on horrible Leo. Although he was bearable in Catch Me If You Can. And the Aviator (says Charles). Still can't stand HIM, though.

7:02 PM  
Blogger Babs said...

I'm glad to see you hate Rocky, too, though I'm utterly disappointed that you didn't like Braveheart.

And were I not so tough I might cop to crying during both Braveheart and Ghost. But I do not cry, so that did not happen. Ahem.

In complete agreeance with hating DiCaprio. He's a bloody twit. I wouldn't watch Titanic if you paid me.

Trying to think of a really popular movie that I loathed.

Bah, can't think of one. Shall ponder and pop back later!!

8:51 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Leigh-Ann- I've yet to see ND. We have it recorded, so we will...someday. I may be in your camp, I suspect based on the bit I know about it. Bah! These whippersnappers of today.

8:56 PM  
Anonymous Christie said...

How about everything with the word "Godfather" in the title? And OHHHH how I love you for dissing Matrix...HATED HATED HATED it, got so bored I didn't even finish watching it. Keanu, while decent eye candy, is lacking in acting skills...

And I understand the need for word verification but dammit, I always fail it the first time...

9:57 PM  
Blogger Rozanne said...

I love this post!!!! For one thing, I just love the title: Movies I Hate. What a good thing to write about! The other reason I love this post is that I hate all those movies you listed, too. (Except for Austin Powers, which I *loved*.) I haven't even seen Titanic, but I know I would hate it.

We will know for sure that you and I are evil twins if it turns out that you hate the following movie:

Forrest Gump

10:00 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Christie- you know, I've only seen parts of the first Godfather, same with Citizen Kane (which bored me, so I went and did something else), another film that I debated including. I guess the fact that I've not had the desire to sit and watch the GF series says something. Word verification IS annoying, isn't it? Teri tried to ditch it a bit ago and got slammed with spam as soon as she did.

Rozanne- Forrest Gump, oh Forrest Gump. It perplexes me. I don't like it, I don't hate it. I don't watch it. I don't not watch it. I did not inhale. Let's say we are evil fraternal twins rather than evil identical twins? Now I will undoubted spend the day mulling over my apathetic, yet complex feelings about that collection of things in a movie that I hate yet as a whole bound together in a movie that I can't say I actually hate. You've thrown me a curve. Curse you.

9:20 AM  
Blogger JoeinVegas said...

It seems that there are many more movies to hate than movies that are good. Where is your 'I like' list?

10:36 AM  
Blogger Rozanne said...

I'm willing to go with the evil fraternal twins thing. I think we'll have to cuz of the Austin Powers/LOTR debacle. You hated AP; I loved it. I hated (not hated, really, but was totally bored by) LOTR; and you love it.

I did like Raising Arizona, though.

1:02 PM  
Blogger Cagey said...

Laughing at the Gladiator and Gangs of New York comment. Both were movies that I started but COULD NOT FINISH. I lost much, MUCH respect for the whole "Oscar winner" thing after having tried to see these two movies.

2:28 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

I'd believe that you just mouthed the words during the Oath of Hippocrates - because you are, indeed, eeeeeeeeeeevil.

I like you anyway.

6:32 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Joe- Working on it, thanks to you!

Rozanne- Deal!

Cagey- Had me wondering who was doing who with those winners.

Teri- Ooooh! Now, what if I said that I didn't mouth it, but lied! Or did I lie about lying? Doubly evil.

8:46 AM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

I can honestly say that there is only a few movies that I hate (that I remember):

Romper Stomper
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

That's about it. I'm sure that there's more but I have a tendency to look at a movie and say "Uh, no. Don't think I'd be interested."

Beth has forced me to watch some that I thought I wouldn't like and I did enjoy them. Fear and Loathing was not one of them.

4:58 PM  

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