Monday, December 11, 2006

Haikus To Mock The Senseless Dog

Pictures for you

Not to bright are you?
It's been months since you tried to
fit under the bed.

Yes, the cat can fit.
She's a cat, small and lithe, who's
bones are cartilage.

In the interim,
you, my dear, have not gotten
the least bit smaller.

In fact, you've grown more.
What were you thinking? Really.
WHAT were you thinking?

This brought upon you
the torture of 'nose kissies',
'noogies', and the rest.

Lord knows how the cat
got in her licks from under
the bed. Serves you right.

In your defense, you
did manage to free yourself
after 10 minutes.

Wriggling your shoulders
and hips, pushing with your toes,
finally you escaped.

Was that the end of
it? Of course not. You're a dog.
Same time, next morning.

Pictures for you



Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Looking at you now
I think you are the cutest
dog under the bed!

8:48 PM  
Anonymous Leigh-Ann said...

The ears say it all, don't they?!

In GSD news from Las Vegas, I came home from the grocery store to find my limited edition Pike Place Market Starbucks mug on the floor, near the doggie door. It wasn't broken. It had been on the kitchen counter when I left the house. The dog may be an idiot, but apparently she's got a gentle touch.

12:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awesome! Just utterly awesome! She's so cute, stuck, but cute.

3:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have I told you I love you? I do, you're brilliant, I'll channel Dana now and say Ooh I laughed and laughed. Pets are the best!

Also, in your honour:

Not to bright, oh no,
never to bright when to dumb
is around the corner

Doggies get stuck and Anglos
exist for you're entertainement, yes
and now you flee

for mocking isn't nice, no
but you're a right cow
and they're we are.

Tee-hee!!!! Sorry, couldn't help myself. Off to London now, where i'll freeze my Portie arse so there's your revenge, no worries.

4:37 AM  
Blogger Jamie said...

HA! I laughed out loud when I got to that last photo. You made my day.

10:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too funny! She's adorable... silly, but adorable.

10:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahhhh. He looks so defeated in that last picture.

12:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is a very sorrowful pooch. Just wait until she finds a skunk for the first time.

The Ole RF-er

1:18 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Ruth- I'd even go so far as to say that she's the cutest dog in the entire bedroom.

Leigh-Ann- Yes; it is all in the ears of the Shepherd, isn't it? How sweet of her not to eat your mug. Molly isn't yet at that altruistic point.

Beth- I'm just glad we didn't have to dismantle the bed before we headed off to work. That wouldn't have been nearly as cute.

Johnny- I will show you how very magnanomous I am in talking to you rather than sitting in a snit as you waltz off to London to have scads of fun. At least you won't be warm. (I love your first stanza, especially.)

Jamie- Molly is pleased to have caused such mirth.

Karen- Silly doesn't begin to come close to it.

Lauren- Doesn't she? That's after much mocking.

Dad- Hush, you. I know it's just a matter of time.

2:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, dear. She is cute, isn't she? I think I am laughing more just knowing that Mad-Kitty has been taunting her in her own special kitty way. And Johnny is right. Ooh, I laughed and laughed!

2:52 PM  
Blogger Lisa P said...

Can't wait to get home so I can actually SEE the pictures. I can only imagine how silly and huumiliated she must feel.... Poor, stupid Molly. I did a little COL (that's chuckle out loud) too.

3:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


That is a hangdog look if ever I saw one.

4:28 PM  
Anonymous christie said...

You are hysterical. I can understand the first time...but the second....not so swift apparently. And as mentioned above, the funniest thing is imagining what Mad-K was doing to torture her under the bed....

Thank you, oh thank you for the smile today!

9:40 PM  
Blogger moegirl said...

Hilarious Diana! Love your ode to Molly wedging herself under the bed. She's entertaining though, and adorable.

12:31 AM  
Blogger Babs said...


I would answer back in haiku but I'm getting mauled by a damned cat right now.

Send Mollie over here, would ya?? Beds are higher up, I think. And William always climbs on top of the living room mattress.

(Don't ask why there's a mattress standing up in the middle of the living room. Can we say boxspring that doesn't fit up stairwell??)

6:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man thats so priceless, funny and cute and I have not even seen the images yet, can't wait to see it when I get home and have to show it to *A* as well.

9:33 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Dana- You know, I think if you look at the top picture, there's a bit of black fur peeking from under the bedrail just to the right of Molly. I'm sure it's either a cat paw or the tip of a tail.

Lisa- One can only hope, although apparently not enough of the humiliation, as she didn't learn, did she? Oh, no. She didn't.

Rozanne- Exactly why that word must have been coined.

Christie- She does it so casually, first her head goes under, then she rolls so one shoulder slips under, then rolls a bit the other way for the other shoulder and then, well, she wriggles a bit and her back and hips disappear. Then she's sorry, yet again. It's only a 7" space and she's a 60 lb dog.

Stace- She and the evil kitty do keep us aggrevated and amused.

Babs- She's on the next train out. Pick her up at Penn Station at 2:43 today, your time. Platform 13. A mattress in the living room seems a handy place to flop and watch a flick, to me.

9:54 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Sanjay- Hope they don't disappoint. Feel free to point at the images and laugh with abandon at her. Maybe it will help her get the message?

9:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My take on the whole thing is that Molly really thinks she's a cat and can't quite understand why she is getting stuck. Maybe that also explains why she wants to be a "lap" dog/cat. You did say you got them from the same breeder didn't you?


5:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aww Molly is so cute and the pics are great! Loved the haiku as well! Maybe Molly has a feline part in her or she thinks she has one? :)

9:19 PM  
Blogger Babs said...

It won't happen, dammit. It's been standing on it's side (against the couch/bed hybrid and the sewing table) for so long that Trash has turned it into the worlds longest god damned coatrack. And t-shirt rack. And jeans rack.

We nipped the smelly sock rack in the bud, though. Got to have SOME standards, after all.

2:37 AM  

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