Retribution
Well, that didn't take long, did it?
I knew I'd be pissing off some deity by callously offing the obviously beloved and popular Wanda and Muriel, but who knew that it would lead to such drastic consequences as the week-long hard freezing of all my beloved spring plants? And now, their little prone bodies will be covered in several inches of snow in the next 24 hours, if the weatherheads are to be believed.
Bah. Had I known, I'd have come up with another solution, like accidentally tripping and falling on each of them several times, with an axe or at least done the deed under cover of darkness. But no. I had to be all "It's my garden, I'll commit planticide where I wish" and "I don't care who knows."
Fortunately, I saved some before the massacre:
I think this will have to sustain me until, oh, July, when things may just melt.
So, I'd like to send out a large, shamefaced apology to all and sundry who have had to suffer the blast of winter in what should be a time of scampering among the hyacinth and dancing among the daffodils. It won't be happening again, or at least not without some sneaking and hiding and wiping of finger and foot prints.
Let this be a lesson to us all. Being caught at murder never pays.
I knew I'd be pissing off some deity by callously offing the obviously beloved and popular Wanda and Muriel, but who knew that it would lead to such drastic consequences as the week-long hard freezing of all my beloved spring plants? And now, their little prone bodies will be covered in several inches of snow in the next 24 hours, if the weatherheads are to be believed.
Bah. Had I known, I'd have come up with another solution, like accidentally tripping and falling on each of them several times, with an axe or at least done the deed under cover of darkness. But no. I had to be all "It's my garden, I'll commit planticide where I wish" and "I don't care who knows."
Fortunately, I saved some before the massacre:
I think this will have to sustain me until, oh, July, when things may just melt.
So, I'd like to send out a large, shamefaced apology to all and sundry who have had to suffer the blast of winter in what should be a time of scampering among the hyacinth and dancing among the daffodils. It won't be happening again, or at least not without some sneaking and hiding and wiping of finger and foot prints.
Let this be a lesson to us all. Being caught at murder never pays.
Labels: Garden Wars
posted by Diana at 12:53 AM
14 Comments:
Ahhh. This is why we had 12.2 more inches of snow than the average for the month of April and it is only the 11th. Easter was more like Christmas.
Late last week our company had planted many many planters with pretty pansys but they look so sad today now that the snow is melting.
Oh, Diana, that is so sad to see! We're getting more snow in the next2 days as well but it's not as bad since we don't have any flowers us except crocuses....croci?!!
Would they bloom if you planted some again in a few weeks? (Maybe there is hope for "The Second Coming"!!)
Stupid snow. I am less than pleased with you, Diana. You murderous wench (yes, yes, I am only kidding).
At least here it is just flaky and isn't sticking but I know it is there. And it might try to stick and pretend this isn't my glorious Spring. I did have to break my rule of not wearing a coat after March 21st and start wearing a Spring jacket but I'm somewhat warmer.
Start paying homage to the garden gods, I can't handle much more of this.
The poor sad daffodils. You should have murdered the hostas (Ithink it was hostas) before the daffodils surfaced so they couldn't see the evil deed.
V.
I rather like you as someone who creates havoc in the garden when she's just trying to make beauty and enjoy the mud.
Yea, snow, snow, snow. I don't mind. We'll start some seeds next week on our back porch and take it from there!
So, it's your fault!!! I cut the daffodils that were foolish enough to be blooming, but the crocuses lying prone all over the yard were too far gone to save. (Can you cut crocuses, bring them in and put them in teeny, tiny vases?)
Lauren- That's just sad, sad, sad. We've gotten so used to the shitty Easter weather, we've long given up on the idea of outdoor egg hunts. Poor, sad pansies. They deserve better.
Ruth- My crocuses are done, leaving the taller ones, now flattened under all the snow. Sadly, as they are bulbs, they will have to wait until next spring to bloom. At least I should have that. Thank goodness none of the perennials had the idiocy to try to bloom yet, so there should just be leaf damage.
Dana- Stupid snow, stupid Diana. Colin is happy, though, as school was cancelled. I had to wear my parka and boots today. Bah. All the trees are terribly sad and the birds are all sitting on the road as the trees are so covered with all that sticky soft snow that they can't roost. It's really rather pathetic.
Voyager- I really should have sent them to swim with the fishes instead of moving them to the side of the house. Oh. Of course. I'm an idiot. The hostas can see the fire pit from their new position. I now know who the traiters are. Where's the cement?
Jocelyn- Why thank you, I like you too. Just don't use me as an example to emulate and your life will be much happier. Edward Moody happier. Shit. I was going to start the tomatoes last week. Ok. Tomorrow. Or Friday. Definitely.
Listie- Yup. My fault entirely. Feel free to fling dead daffodils at me. You know, I've never tried to cut crocuses. Mine are long gone, so I can't try. Anybody?
The flowers you were able to salvage were quite nice though...Hope Easter was fun, even if weather wise it was more like Christmas.
Let's recap, shall we? I was taking pictures of green grass and dandelions on Christmas Eve. Three days after Easter and we have a winter storm warning in effect and I had to clean piles of snow off my car when I left work... what happens wen you do something constructive, rather than destructive? Diana, Gardener of the Weather...
Stacy- Easter was nice and quiet after the chocolate finding frenzy. We all wore warm sweaters and thick socks.
Teri- I think I hate having the weight of the weather world on my head. What will happen when I start my annual weed-whupping? Tornados? Rain of toads?
Momma nature's way of saying "DON'T YOU DARE EVEN THINK OF FUCKING WITH ME LADY?" perhaps? Momma nature bit me too...who'd a thought we'd have a freeze in central arkansas in April? Damn that momma nature.
You can't be blamed for all the weather - may just the latest batch. Although someone said the national weather forecast said spring is finally arrived for good. I thought we had just skipped spring, summer, and autumn, only to find ourselves back in winter.
I hope the plants recover. I really do.
(As far as tornadoes - keep my mom out of WI. There's supposedly a curse that she causes tornadoes in the state. It seems odd, but they do seem to pop up when she visits.)
Christie- Yes. Sadly, I think this is precicely what she is saying. I hang my head in shame.
Beth- I do hope that your very nice mum stays out of my delightful state, nothing personal. I do hope this is the last of it.
we are in the middle of the warmest April since I moved up North 9 yrs ago. It's been amazing... I hope it doesn't mean summer will be really wet and miserable.
Sorry for your daffodils.
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