Thursday, January 03, 2008

So Far, I'm Liking 2008 Much Better

Hush.

Do you hear that? That's silence, that is. Golden, diamond-studded solitude. Well, except for the dog. There's always The Dog. Sort of like a shadow whose nails click on the floor. She'd really like for you to either just stay where you are, so she doesn't have to keep getting up from her nap to follow you to the next room, or she'd really like for you to go outside and play in the snow. But you're used to that sort of presence and judgement in your life.

But the rest...it's so quiet and peaceful.

Remember back at the end of the summer? School was to start, and for the first time in 9 years, I was to be alone in my own house for more than a couple of minutes at a time? I'd get to watch trash on TV without constant haranguing from the small handed ones. I'd get to nap in silence (yes, yes, except for The Dog). I could eat ice cream and chocolate for lunch and no one would be the wiser except for me and my sucrose-ill self. I could finally pee in solitude, no small girl barging in no matter how I explained that "Mommy really would like some privacy, NOW!"

And all that lasted, I believe for 2 whole days: a Thursday and its following Friday. Then Lilian had her fall and her heart attack and came to be with us, along with all my darling parents in succession, with surgery and recovery and meals on trays and visiting nurses. Everything fell together very fortunately, with minimal work lost, no permanent placement in an assisted care center, no daycare.

But, no solitude that I'd looked forward to with the same gleam in my eye that a prisoner has as he counts the days until release in hatch marks on his cell wall, listening to the living noise of his cell mates day in and day out.

Cell mates that he may actually adore; whose company he may have sought out and actively recruited, but everyone (and by 'everyone' I of course mean 'me') needs, nay craves, solitude.

And today, I have it. 5 whole hours from bus pick-up until bus drop-off.

I feel like a new woman. A new woman with rumpled hair from curling up on the couch, reading. A woman with no make-up (because...why?) a woman who's clothes may be a bit ripe but are comfortable.

I don't have the full 2 days at the end of each week that I'd planned on. Lilian still has her rehab that she needs to be ferried to each Friday afternoon, and tomorrow I've got to take The Dog to the vet, as well (Diarrhea. Dog and Diarrhea.) so that'll blow the Fridays, but if I can just have the Thursdays, I will be satisfied.

Happy New Year to me.

------------------

And speaking of years that are new, you'll be glad to know that I've already achieved my one and only resolution:

As I am beyond tired of shirts that are too short. I have declared war on shirts that are too short. I have purged my closet, shelves and drawers of any and all shirts that have a tail less than a full 8" below my belt line. I have freed myself from the drafty, horrifying double whammy of raising my arms in the course of living and exposing my white, dimply bare midriff to the chill and to the offense of the eyes of others.



I will accept words of gratitude from the general public.



I will look for some sort of award for Special Services To Humanity in the mail.



I will NEVER buy an inadequate shirt again.



Should anyone wish to start a fund to hunt down those who've perpetuated such misery in the name of fashion, I will gladly contribute time and resources.

And kindling.

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18 Comments:

Blogger CarpeDM said...

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before but I adore you. Really and truly.

You just make me laugh so much and I like to laugh. Plus, I hate the short shirts. What's the point? And even worse, the shirts that were perfectly long enough have a tendency to shrink. Clothes are mean and evil sometimes.

6:39 PM  
Blogger Rozanne said...

So how do you feel about low-rider jeans and trousers? I imagine they will be the next to face the firing squad.

Days off are wonderful and luxurious, aren't they? Enjoy!

7:29 PM  
Blogger The Rotten Correspondent said...

I love my family dearly. All of them. But I especially love the back of them when they're all heading out to work/school and leaving me..

Home.

Alone.

It's such a short period of time when I get to be alone and then it's all back to business at usual. But, oh, the quiet is like narcotics for the soul. Totally addictive.

8:25 PM  
Anonymous Christie said...

Yay for you! Five whole hours to do NOTHING and pee in solitude, oh how I envy your life dear Piffle....oh how I envy your life.

9:32 PM  
Blogger Jocelyn said...

I'm sending you a congratulatory crop top tomorrow.

And envying you your time alone at home.

Sigh.

12:47 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

Mmmmm, time alone. I'm kind of looking forward to TFYO going back to school on Monday. Of course, I also have to work that day, and have a doctors appt. Tuesday. Hmm. I guess I'll be just a teensy bit envious of you for a bit.

8:19 AM  
Anonymous Kate W. said...

Wait, short shirts? don't you just pull the bottom up through the neck like Daisy Duke? I was SO ready for Ellie to go back to school yesterday too! Glad you got a little time alone.

8:48 AM  
Blogger Lauren said...

I am so glad to hear that your 2008 is starting so well.

And as for fashion faux paus (sp?) the one thing that I hate more than anything are the low rise jeans. I am so sick of seeing everyone's butt cracks that I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.

2:24 PM  
Blogger riseoutofme said...

Time alone ..Bliss!

Enjoy!

May 2008 brings you lots of navel-gazing hours!

2:29 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Dana- I adore you right back. Really and Truly. Clothes ARE mean and evil. Shrinking is NOT cool, although I am luckier than some, having short arms and legs, so the shrinkage isn't as hard on me.

Rozanne- Low-riders are beyond ridiculous. They are worse than leg warmers and platform shoes together with Bozo The Clown wigs. Those who chose to wear them deserve all the 'laughing at' they get. I may be the only one on the planet to say this, but I'm thrilled that waistbands are heading north, again.

Julie- Amen to that, Sistah! Narcotics for the soul, indeed.

Christie- I live for your envy, you know.

Jocelyn- With the return address on the package, I shall now hunt you down and exact my vengence. After I burn the shirt, of course. Perhaps I shall bring your kids puppies. Really, really cute puppies.

Jen- It's sheer bliss, isn't it?

Kate- Ahem. No. No I do not. Nor do I let my cheeks peek below the legs of my shorts. I am here to add to the good in the world, not the horror!! Working part time with your kids IN school rocks, doesn't it?

Lauren- So, I take it you are joining me in the "Take Back The Waist Bands" club?

Rise- Thanks!, I think I'll put the time toward gazing at the blogs of others and the books of mine (as well as the occasional inner side of my eyelids).

9:48 AM  
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Enjoy your 1 day anyway with the knowledge that time flies and it won't seem so long from now that both kids are college bound and you will wonder where the time went and wishing they were home just a wee bit more...and encouraging them to even phone collect!

Congrats on the purging of old clothes and turning over a new, somewhat longer leaf!!!

9:56 AM  
Blogger Udge said...

Congratulations on making such a fine and upstanding start to the year. More power to your throwing-out muscles.

1:51 PM  
Blogger Dumdad said...

Time alone, ah, such joy. But not forever, of course. Short, regular bursts are soothing for your peace of mind and stops you giving those around a piece of your mind.

Bonne année!

1:54 PM  
Blogger Coffee-Drinking Woman said...

Oh, time alone. That most elusive of joys!

2:45 PM  
Blogger brooksba said...

Congrats! I, too, am one who dispises shirts that are too short. It is hard to avoid them at times, but adore the lengthy tops that I can move freely without discomfort. Good for you! Glad to hear that you get a day of solitude each week now. You deserve it.

5:59 PM  
Blogger moegirl said...

Allow me to join the fight against the short shirts- Amen to that sister!

I can't seem to find shirts that are comfortable length wise without going up in size to something too baggy.

Glad for you and the alone time.

7:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh yes. Molly and her nails are most audible from anywhere in the house. Good luck on your solitude. Those moments are precious.

The Ole RF-er

PS: That Damn Blogspot has changed their format of posting comments. Curses to them.

1:33 PM  
Blogger listie said...

Time alone!

You deserve some me time and some private pee time.

Enjoy!

11:03 AM  

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