End Of Days
Maybe I am over reacting, but you be the judge:
The Scene: Yesterday, early afternoon. Lunch over, Sara down for her nap, Colin playing. Peaceful. Our heroine cleaning up the kitchen, contemplating which choice of chocolate to accompany the hit of coffee to be taken before her run. The chocolate and coffee being for purely medicinal purposes, you realize. Never mind that if she didn't indulge in all the chocolate and other questionable foodstuffs, she could be contemplating a nice book-and-couch scenario.
But our heroine is getting off track, yet again.
Diana: "Damn phone."
Diana: (answering the phone) "Hello?"
Computerized monotone meant to sound pleasant and warm but failing to sound anything but creepy: "Hello please wait for the next available Scholastic telemarketer."
I am trying to decide what bothers me about this most, and I am not talking about the whole interrupt-your-personal-business-even-if-it-is-just-scratching-your-nose annoyance that is the telemarketer call. There are ways around that: The "do not call" list, the screening your calls with the machine approach, the making up of horrible, yet funny things to say back to the poor sap on the other end of the line ("Oh! I am so glad you called, I am just so lonely! Let me TELL you all about it. I haven't talked to anyone in DAYS!"). I personally answer our phone, as we really don't get that many sales calls. Our number is unlisted. If it is a telemarketer, I just hang up after saying a polite "no thank-you".
What bothers me is that a machine has interrupted my day and now is asking me to wait on hold. What bothers me is that this approach obviously works, or it wouldn't be being done. I have gotten these sorts of calls before, from time to time and I assume you have too. After reflexively hanging up, for a brief moment I regretted not holding for the next hapless telemarketer and giving them an ear-full.
Then, of course, I realized that it would really not change anything, possibly even perpetuate it, as it counted as a connection rather than a disconnection in the grand telemarketing computer tally. It certainly would not have been the first time someone told them off and obviously it has not stopped this practice. I also wondered how long I would have been on hold waiting for someone to come on the phone trying to sell me something I assuredly did not want.
Plus, I was on the kitchen phone, the new dinky-ass one that is too small to hold to your ear with your shoulder, not like the old one in the bedroom. The old bedroom phone has a handset that can double as a weapon, should anyone try to break in. Had I been on that phone, I could have pretended to bludgeon the telemarketer repeatedly with the receiver, which would have been good practice, in case I ever had to do it in reality.
Maybe I should just switch the phones around, so I am prepared. Lord knows, there will be a next time.
(PS: Yes, I could have just put it on speaker phone, I realize, but where is the funny in that, I ask you? Plus, I never remember to do that until afterward.)