Friday, July 21, 2006

Suddenly, I'm Not Laughing

Pictures for you

I confess that this is probably part of some large cosmic payback for being too smug and daring the fates. After all, Jamie did warn me several months ago. "Beware. It's the coating on the lenses. The dogs just love it." And so, I was careful after that, for a couple of months or so, after we found Charles's missing (and industrial sized) key ring waaaay under the bed. Over the ensuing months, other things were drug under there to be mauled and mutilated by the shark-dog, most recently a plastic Darth Vader, who ended up looking like the scarred, broken Aniken Skywalker at the end of the Revenge of the Sith, as his body is encased in Vader armor, face and limbs all chewed away. There was also the collection of tiny dolls that were supposed to go on our trip for Sara, but instead were pilfered from the packing and mutilated. I returned to a scattering of disfigured mini heads, hands, feet and knees. Disturbing but hardly something that would touch me on a daily basis.

Of course, it was inevitable.

I'm also pretty sure the kitty was an accomplice. She who loves to bat things off high places, thus tempting the evil dog to do what is in her nature. It's just that I really did like those glasses and I really don't want to spend an hour and a couple of hundred bills a the eye doctor right now. Not to mention that I now have to get up and hop right in the shower, so I can put in the contact lenses, to be able to see. (If I put them in before I wash, for some reason, they get 'funny' and my eyes are irritated all day. I don't get it, either. I do close my eyes. Soap doesn't get in them.) I'm also glad it wasn't my contacts. When something happens to them, I get this sort of vague anxiety attack that lasts until I get them back. I hate wearing glasses. Always have, but they are handy for those pajama times.

I should probably get that lasik surgery, but I'm just not ready. I want some more years to go by to let me know that there's not some sort of complication that happens to those eyeballs when they reach the age of 50 or 90 or whatever. I am fearful of losing my sight, such as it is, completely.

So, off to the eye doctor, I go.

And, see, she really is sorry:

Pictures for you

BAD DOG. Baaaaaaaad Dooooooooog.

Bad dog.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

awww! look at her!
she knows.

I am pretty sure they conspire against us, the fates.

have a great weekend!

9:25 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

I can emphasize with the frustration. I'm very dependant on my glasses and I don't have contact lens backups.

Ginger kitty has taken to making loud pitiful bleets in the last year, particularily in the middle of the night. It's like she doesn't really know where we are anymore and needs to be reassured. I both want to throttle and hug her simultaneously.

Poor doggie...


9:48 AM  
Blogger listmaker said...

That's an impressive amount of destruction! I'd be glad to send him my hateful-new-glasses-I-can't-wear as a chew toy.

1:50 PM  
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Avoid eye contact with your dog at all costs! That face is too cute to exercise any discipline! Ah, well, maybe you can't see that cute face so well now anyway!

5:14 PM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

Oh, dear. That's never good. That face looks familiar. I'm sure I've made it before when Keem was mad at me for something. It doesn't normally work. I'm sure it won't work when she finds out I stole her Bugles. Or that I wanted to steal her Bugles but I am afraid she will get mad at me again.

I had a small child rip my glasses off of my face once. Fortunately his grandmother paid for me to get new ones. Does Molly have a grandmother with money?

5:31 PM  
Anonymous christie said...

I have to agree that's impressive destruction. And I am so impressed with your self-control for not murdering the furry beast (although just look at that sweet face, how could it ever do anything wrong???? It musta been the cat, yeah, that's it, the cat made her do it, the feline really is practicing mind control and poor Maul-pup is just a puppet in her masterful paws.)

10:00 PM  
Blogger Rozanne said...

Gasp. Utterly destroyed!!! Wow.

I'm with you on being scared of the lasik surgery, even though I know people who've had it and love it.

What happens, for example, after they've slashed your eyeballs to correct for nearsightedness and then your eyes go through that midlife change and you become farsighted? I, too, worry that there's something negative they're going to find out down the road about the surgery. No way will I even consider it.

2:30 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Amy- So far, it's been a lovely weekend, may the fates be appeased. I was also thrilled to get an appointment with the eye doc right after work next week and not 3 weeks out, like last time I needed an emergent lens.

Karen- I think I'll splurge on a spare pair of contacts when there. My eyes haven't changed in about 25 years, so they should be good. Poor pitiful kitty.

Listie- From what you've said of your new glasses, it might be the only use for them.

Ruth- Isn't she terrible? Even in the throes of rage, she socks it to you with the puppy eyes.

Dana- You, m'dear have tremendous puppy eyes. Don't see how Keem is immune to them, even when Bugles are at stake. Could you blame Eddie?

Christie- Frankly, I'm amazed she's still living, too, and not been taken to the taxidermist and turned into a nice stuffed dog we can place in the corner. Found her slinking off to the under-the-bed with a piece of paper that Colin had had in his room, this morning. So bad! But maybe it was just the kitty mind control.

Rozanne- Truly, no salvaging them. I've wondered about the development of farsightedness and lasik, too. I just keep hoping to one day wake with miraculously restored vision. Yeah. Right.

2:09 PM  
Anonymous Leigh-Ann said...


I've had the cats try to swat my glasses around, and the arms on my glasses are all chewed up by my cockatoo, but I've never had to deal with complete destruction. Bummer! I need to get new lenses as mine have been scratched by kitty claws, but right now they're still essentially functioning.

Our Anatolian ate our floor and our couch, but you know, I would have been more angry if he'd eaten my glasses. Oh well, now you can get those funky horn-rimmed glasses you've always coveted ;-)

12:57 AM  
Blogger Jamie said...

Oh dear. So sorry you had to experience that one in person.

I feel so much the same way you do about glasses, contacts, surgery! That post could have been written by me. I even experience the shower thing...although it can be fixed by taking the contacts out post-shower and rinsing them with solution. Dunno why.

9:44 AM  
Anonymous Leigh-Ann said...

Do you think we could get a group rate on Lasik surgery? We'll take a picnic lunch, hold hands in the waiting room, sing Kumbaya, and then we can all blog about it.

3:40 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Leigh-Ann- That's a tough call: floor/couch vs glasses. Either would get me hopping mad. That would be a fun blog meeting: all of us in the lasik office. I'll bring the cookies. We'd have our designated driver take us for beers afterward.

Jamie- My first thought (coherent, not sputtering thought) was, "Well, Jamie warned me." Yes, rinsing works, I just hate to fuss with them. Whine, whine, whine.

11:02 AM  
Blogger Babs said...

Ma is the only one with glasses at the mo (just for reading) and, as of yet, the Beast has yet to go near them.

I do recall YEARS ago when the Walrus nicked Trash's retainer and chewed it to bits (much more expensive than the 'Disappearing 5lbs of Raw Chicken Cutlets' fiasco). Parents were not happy. Orthodontist with mortgage payments, however, was elated.

{I've been warned about dogs liking the deeth, too, so I keep mine tucked away where the Beast's paws can't get at 'em}

We won't even discuss Capone and her doorknob eating incident. Ahem.

1:36 PM  
Blogger Lisa P said...

Can't wait to get home to see the pic's.
I'm w/you though on the whole contacts/glasses/LASIK thing. I've thought about it, but I'm kinda afraid of the dreaded "Bad Outcome" too.

2:57 PM  
Blogger moegirl said...

Naughty dog indeed! Wow, I never thought of a dog chewing up glasses...plastic toys and shoes, yes, but glasses, no.

With you on the Lasik, thought of it many times, but worry too much about a bad outcome.

3:24 PM  
Blogger brooksba said...

Oh! That is too bad. Sorry to hear about the excursion that needs to take place to the eye doctor.

4:11 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Babs- For a while we couldn't find the missing lens. At least we didn't then have to go to the vet ER and pay to have it removed from somewhere in her plumbing. Damn dog. I had forgotten about the cutlets. Isn't it fortunate that the kitties are fearful of the Beast? Continue to encourage this.

Lisa- Hi Honey! A Bad Outcome on your knee is one thing. On your eye is another.

Stace- I wish I was still blissfully naieve. (And how was the reunion? I'm dying to know.)

Beth- What gets me is that she's sorry but not sorry enough to not do it again.

8:32 AM  

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