Sunday, February 20, 2005

Rock Star

The scene opens with our heroine mobbed by fans, who just can't get enough of her fast enough. Their voices overlap so their needs are hard to understand, but one thing is clear: They will do anything to get her attention. Fade to a cacophony of, "Mommy! Mam! Mommy Can I, Arf!, Look-Mommy-look-mommy-look!, Woof!"

It does not need saying that all (3) of the fans are under 4 foot tall.

Still, an entourage is an entourage, and, while small, these 3 are mighty. Mighty persistent.

Sara: "Mommy!-I-can't-do-it-I-CAN'T-DOOOOOOOOooooo-IT!

Me: "Let me see, Baby."

Colin: "Mom! Cover me up with ALL the stuffed animals and then tickle me! Please!"

Me: "You have 571 stuffed animals. If I cover you with ALL of them, you will suffocate and I will be down to only 2 under-4-ft adoring fans."

Emma: "Woof!" (Large, wet nose in the face, followed by sloppy, gleeful kiss, followed by paws to the clavicles.) "Woof!"

Me: "Uuuuffff! Blech! Emma, down and stay!" Vigorous wiping of my pus with shirt sleeve.


Me: "Baby, how do you ask nicely? Say 'Help, please.' "


Colin: "Mom, build a house with me! Let's build 3 houses!"

Me: (flash of lightbulb over head) "What a great idea. We will all build Lego houses. Together. In harmony. Let's all sing the ABC song. Together. In harmony."

Minutes later, chaos is transformed into a lovely scene of industrious construction, the competition for blocks not-withstanding, all accompanied by off-key humming. Fortunately, Sara is as happy to make a house out of train tracks, trees, and sheep as out of the more traditional Lego house building supplies, like brick-colored blocks and pre-fab wall blocks with working doorbells. Emma oversees with handy bone to gnaw.

So what is so hard about this mother thing any way? Piece of cake. Just get everyone on the same project, each working different angles. In 3 part harmony.

Close scene with our heroine leaning back against the base of the couch, mug of cold tea in hand, contemplating the next project: Lunch. {horrified shuddering} But once "lunch" is conquered, there is the peace of "naps". Mmmmmm. Naps.



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